On Staten Island, they call this the “some of the cocaine got stuck in my nose hair, let me see if I can just blow it out and absorb it through my sweaty skin” wipe

This is one of the most informative and helpful kinja comments I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you!

I would also consider Panda McPandyface

The American people know how to protect their health, but can’t handle being inconvenienced, so won’t 

Shapiro and Owens were just feeling salty because their request to join the proud boys got denied

Maybe they should have Michael Bay work it into the next Transformers movie. It would transform into a giant robot squirrel or gopher that would be friends with the Shia LeBeouf character. Wait, he’s not in the movies anymore?

Maybe Herman Cain should tweet some thoughts and prayers to them to cheer them up

That’s crazy. I’m a pediatrician, and basically the majority of people in the field are all big softies, so this is especially shocking. Or I guess not shocking at all - the racist bone really trumps everything else (pun semi-intended). 

The problem is that the only people stupid enough to go on a cruise in a pandemic, have probably not been paragons of social distancing or mask wearing. It’s basically taking the people who take the biggest and dumbest risk and putting them together in close quarters, where they will most certainly continue to not…

Only if the hood turret can be made to shoot donkey sauce

This thing is actually pretty cool - I thought it would be like a harpoon, but basically just a net that wraps around the wheel/axle. Seems really dangerous for the cop doing it though, but I guess they don’t bust these out for garden variety shit

Lots of meth

I witnessed a van full of Trump supporters pull up to an adult book store, then do some ranting about the election at a nearby landscaping company. But the thing is that they were also right next to a crematorium. And what else would one be doing at a crematorium besides destroying evidence. I’m willing to submit an…

I hope the secret service agents taser him a few times as they drag his ass out in January, just as a little thank you for the gratuitous covid exposure and having to deal with his shitty family for 4 years. 

They should probably start the fumigation now. 

You forgot Russia

Lawyers gonna lawyer

I think dying of Covid during the lame duck portion of doing a shitty job in a shitty administration is the opposite of going out on top. It’s kind of a shame given what he has accomplished, but also fuck him for using his position to actively try to make people’s life worse

This is the part where the Trump campaign has gone full It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Frank is Trump, Dennis is Kushner, Mac is Don Junior, Charlie is Eric, and Dee is Ivanka. Giulini is played by Rickety Cricket

I guess the halloween mask guy couldn’t decide between wearing blackface and just putting on his klan hood, so decided to compromise?