There’s no reason not to be able to render emergency care with computer systems down. I’ve taken care of an ICU full of patients overnight without a computer system as recently as a few years ago when our EMR was being upgraded. It’s a pain with doing paper orders, and faxing results, and having to look at vital signs…

My dentist keeps threatening to have me charged with unlawful dental acts if I don’t stop eating candy. I thought he was just joking, but apparently that’s a thing? 

Is there any incentive for them to actually stop the scalpers though? They get paid no matter what, and get bonus hype from “oh shit, someone paid 100x the price for this on ebay” stories

I eagerly await a photo of a shirtless Putin riding a horse on Venus

Look, I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum or judge people for spending money on things that bring them joy, whether it’s decorative gnomes or video games. I assume that anyone with $500+ to drop on a newly released console/games/accessories is a responsible adult who has considered their financial situation and the…

I like your last paragraph. Some people I know are losing their shit about not having access to the PS5 right off the bat. But given all the 2020 shit, if you have a job and disposable income to afford this thing, a home to play it in, and time that’s not spent trying to balance a job and teaching your child, shut the…

Nothing like underinflating your tires to own the libs. “Rolling rims” is the new “rolling coal”

I’m sure that if a black man jumped out of his car to threaten some misbehaving white kids with a knife and then called the police, the cops would have just rolled up, shrugged, and said to call city hall

They just mean global in the parts with the Black people. This is some serious bullshit

As a bonus, you get to scrape all those delicious oysters or whatever and boil them in a pot to eat

I definitely think it should be mandatory for children at some point. There’s very good data with other vaccines that vaccinating children helps reduce infections in older adults, for whom the vaccines often don’t produce as robust of an immune response. Logistically, vaccinating kids also works because of frequent…

The secret is that the main vaccine component is snow. The second ingredient is vodka, to help sterilize the snow. 

The bible definitely said that’s it’s ok to grab them by the pussy, but not by the boob. 

I guess it could be worse, the bats could also have murder hornets in their mouth, and when they go to bite you, the murder hornets come out and bite you along with the bat and the tick. This being 2020, that may come to pass by October

Due to recent partnerships between Ring and police forces, the Ring now only detects Black people

So it happens reasonably frequently for medication trials and other types of studies. My favorite example is the SPRINT trial, which looked at using blood pressure medications to target different blood pressure goals - it was stopped early when the data showed pretty clearly that targeting a lower blood pressure of…

Did the KKK delivery guy get confused on his way to Mitch McConnell’s house?

Typically there’s a data safety monitoring board for each large study that does a few critical things. First, they unblind and review the data at predetermined intervals, like every 6 months or after a certain number of people have enrolled. They analyze the data to make sure there’s no increase in adverse events of…

Their contract probably allows a certain amount of egregious racism per year, and you can probably donate your extra racism to another cop who was just a little more egregious. If you don’t get caught doing racist stuff, you can cash out the unused amount at the end of the year

That has to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. There are something like 40 million African Americans in the US, so that’s less than 50 cents per year per person on grits. Like of all the things to yell at people not to spend money on, he chooses a pretty cheap and nutritious food?