I drink at least $15 of shit coffee per month that I have to make myself. I’d be willing to pay more for essentially unlimited quantities of more convenient better coffee

I would do that subscription even for a place with worse coffee than Panera. Those 32 oz tubs of Folgers ground coffee are like $7 and will make me far less than a month of bad coffee (sad story, this is how I get my caffeine these days). If the local ABP, Dunkin, or Starbucks would offer me a subscription plan, I’d…

I can’t decide if Pence’s coronavirus plan will be to pray very hard for the coronavirus to spare the true believers or to pray very hard for it to ravage the world and start the apocalypse

My grandfather loved the shit out of some Tetris on my 20 year old Game Boy. Glad they were able to make this lady happy

Can someone who does those kinds of mostly highway miles on a common ICE car put this into perspective? I live in a city with pretty harsh weather and driving conditions so to me it doesn’t seem bad relative to the things my family’s cars have gone through

It doesn’t matter, the EPA now says they’re all safe to dump in our water!

I sense the making of a movie about a plucky prison football team. Maybe also get Adam Sandler for it, he’s always good in those kinds of movies

If the dragon is voiced by Danny Devito, I will watch it. 

I support this remedy. This way I will be able to see who the gullible idiots are without having to bother with reading their social media posts. 

Maybe if he promised the federalist society that he’d make all women go through 2 years of arbitration before getting an abortion...

There needs to be a scene in the next Thor movie with Thor trying to type on the apple keyboard and then giving up and smashing it

Some of my former managers would definitely buy this but only if it had settings like “hellscape” and “thunderstorm”

The out of character part is the fact that he did it in public in front of a non-white person. He probably says it around his all-white squash club all the time

It’s the perfect play! It looks good to their base and the cheapskates don’t even have to pony up any scholarship money!

I’m pretty sure that the superbowl half time show is at the bottom of the list of things keeping this guy out of heaven. 

It’s because the Antebellum Plantation Dioramas were all sold out

They should ban him from flying any airline aside from United ever again. Then every time he flies United, he should be chosen for involuntary bumping from the flight, with a complimentary beating. 

It’s no longer a one-coyote wolfpack

I remember my pediatrics co-residents pumping in random closets and bathrooms of the supposedly lactation-friendly major children’s hospital where we worked. Like if that’s a place that can’t get pumping right, that’s just fucked up. 

I think he has clearly established he knows very little about the country he’s ostensibly running. I’m not from that part of the country, but just middle school and high school American history classes gave me a pretty good idea of the major cities in most states. FFS, I just did a jigsaw puzzle of the U.S. with my…