These boob police guys are just trying to protect her honor, but keep getting friend-zoned. Why can’t she see that they’re so nice and much better relationship material than all the chads.

I look forward to the two Jets vs Dolphins and one more Jets vs Bills game this year, where these three teams try to see who can shit their pants the hardest while stepping on their own dick.. I think the Dolphins have what it takes to out-Jets the Jets

да товарищ владимир. 

Picking up the New England defense did wonders for my fantasy football team this week, but made me feel so dirty.

They really should arrest them and then use the forfeiture laws to seize their assets. You know, like we do for people selling a few oz of marijuana instead of billions of dollars worth of stuff

I tried something like this with my kid, but LabNerd Jr figured out that if you suck in hard enough, the tissue moves too

Could be worse, he could have gotten it made entirely out of wood and then kept yelling “I am Groot” as he drove it. 

I’m definitely not a pro, but have a kid I like to photograph doing cute kid stuff. There’s a lot of appeal in phones with good camera for parents. I have an nice DSLR for hobby stuff, and a sony mirrorless camera for more day to day photography, but there’s just so much shit to already carry around with a toddler. I…

Sometimes the NFL leadership really likes to remind the players who the owners are. Can’t have the convicts running the prison. So you have some management people following this “we need to have the unconditional respect and fear of our players”, which is a bullshit attitude when you’re managing grown ass adults being…

This. My uncle hunts (bow, rifle) nearly religiously, and owns several hunting rifles. He is also absolutely obsessive about firearm safety - training, storage, etc. I’ve gone hunting with him a few times, and he made me do a short gun safety thing first and then practice at a range several times before he would even…

You skipped over the part about the well regulated militia. That seems pretty well defined too. 

I’m sure that somehow Antonio Brown was involved in this

Carson Wentz: who are they calling fragile now?!

I demand that WYTS for the Raiders, Steelers, and Patriots be amended. We can’t wait another year

That’s the other accepted way to earn a Kiko Alonzo jersey

It’s interesting, but why do all the smoked meat eating people not have lower pressures? It seems like nitrites might have an effect but probably not at the top of the list of things that mess with your blood pressure

Brown is fast, but not fast enough for Carr to avoid oncoming defenders or tripping over his own feet

It was definitely not done by Trump. He can’t find Alabama on the map, even with the AL there. 

A lot of these I’m sure were chosen because they’re abroad - if Real American contractors in Republican voting states had to lose out on jobs and pay, there’d probably be a bit more opposition to this

I still can’t understand people whose self-worth is tied to a college team they did not even play on. Seriously, it’s a bunch of teenagers throwing a ball around. It’s one thing if this dude’s teammates got upset at the joke about a hard loss, that’s reasonable. Everyone else really needs to find something better to…