His math major and the noose thing will get him a job as Stephen Miller’s undersecretary of counting illegal immigrants

That’s pretty messed up. If the economic viability of living in an area prone to fires depends on keeping a large enough population of imprisoned people to coerce them into dangerous work at low pay, then you really have to evaluate the whole enterprise. It’s like saying “mining coal is so much more expensive now that…

The bucket seat also has a built-in toilet for when you shit yourself at around 290 mph

This 100%!

It’s going to get very very hot in that car

I’ve been going to a few games per year since high school, usually with a group of friends and more recently my wife. I read George Will’s Men at Work 3 years ago, and I have to say that I’ve started appreciating the games so much more. I made the wife read it - she’s not a huge sports fan, but she loved it and now…

We’re about to impose 100% tariffs on canadian lube and condoms

First Russia weaponized the dolphins, now they have radioactive killer crabs. We’re fucked

I think the FDA only recently said they’re working on putting together a plan for regulating the vape stuff. 

Ride around the pothole ridden streets at 7AM, and all you see are methadone clinic lines of people with Eagles jerseys and pajama bottoms or too short denim-shorts strangulating fat flabby calves. I’m constantly amazed that Eagle’s fans haven’t gone extinct from not having the IQ to avoid choking on scrapple or a…

They tried replacing the human players with dogs back in the 1990s, but the dogs kept taking a knee every time they heard a dog whistle

Who would have guessed that inhaling unregulated substances from unregulated devices could cause problems! I’m actually surprised that there isn’t some company out there yet using the vape pens to inhale unregulated stem cell products!

Good thing they had the foresight to put all the lead in the water to kill the bacteria in case they ever had to dump sewage in there. 

Libertarians only apply their belief system to stuff that directly and immediately benefits them, and not to actually taking responsibility for shit

Pantaleo’s mistake was that he used the chokehold. Had he simply shot Garner, he could have just pulled the usual line about him reaching for his waistband in a threatening manner and there would be zero repercussions. 

Philadelphia: A lot of the “major” streets are one-way only, and only have 2 lanes + a parking lane. There is inevitably some asshole double parked and taking up one of those lanes. There’s also always another asshole double parked in the other lane, leaving only like 10 feet between the cars, so you have to weave…

Also just to second you on the discussion of the checklists and routine pre-op anesthesia evaluation. Here any outpatient getting surgery undergoes at least a phone screening before they even come, and unless they’re very straightforward and getting a minor procedure, they get a pre-op visit with an anesthesiologist…

Yea it’s kind of weird that nobody thought of that in a recently post-surgical patient. Like within a week of surgery, with any throat/neck/breathing complaints, it’s essentially malpractice not to look there (both directly and with at least a neck x-ray. 

His leave is just to prepare for his confirmation hearings to head the new ICE division of racial purity

This is a 100% anesthesiologist fail. Here they really go to painstaking length to document loose teeth, oral appliances, and anything else that might make their airway access difficult or unsafe.