He was providing excellent community service, specifically to the white racist community, aka “real Americans”

She should have just pretended to be a fake doctor in the United States; sham treatments are quite lucrative here (see Gwyneth Paltrow). Let the crazy rich white people have their fake medicine, and leave the kids in Africa the fuck alone.

I was pleasantly surprised that this did not come from a Philly sports fan.

Per NYPD request, library patrons will continue to have unlimited access to Paul Bart Mall Cop and all the Police Academy movies (except Mission to Moscow, which touches on too controversial a topic). 

Good thing their factory isn’t in Philly, or those would all just be double parked along every major street

If he were going to play for a New York team, he’d probably manage to injure himself while moving

Biden is that slightly racist, sexist, very touchy creepy uncle that every white person has. The old people love him but anyone young tries to avoid him at family gatherings, because he will kind of grope you while telling you not to go dating black people and to make sure to wear something more revealing so you can…

The majority of these people look like the only thing they have to be proud of is how much all you can eat scrapple they managed to scarf down while only getting a few grease stains on their nazi uniforms

I sometimes find it helpful to ask servers about stuff the same way I’ll ask a bartender about a new beer or drink recommendation. “You have a few different fish dishes on the menu, is there one that’s popular during this season that’s harder to get at other time?”, or “I’m looking for something with lots of green…

Aside from being paid by the teams, a lot of the team physicians get a huge financial benefit from being able to say they’re the team physician for a professional sports team, to the point that I think at least some of them don’t actually get paid by the team. Here, all the big orthopedic practices are always touting…

We give specific fever guidelines to our patients, based on the metric system - so low grade fevers at 38 C and true fevers are 38.5. These numbers are based in part on international studies. Of course we then have to translate that into imperial for the patients, so it becomes the much more memorable 100.4 F and…

The Marlins will 100% not learn anything from humiliation

100% agree with you! The democrats will at least claim that the racism and rape are not OK before finding ways to excuse it

You can assume that a toddler can get to anything within 4 feet of the ground if it’s not locked down. I’m a pediatrician and always think I’m doing a good job child-proofing my house with various locks and things, until my toddler comes over with something and says “I eat that?” It’s like the full power of the human…

Man, that “I was just a dumb 16 year old” argument... My friends and I did plenty of dumb shit at that age, but racist bullshit was not on that list. The people who think that’s OK to say at 16 are the people who think it’s OK to say that decades later.

I really wish CSPAN would routinely use this. It’s not like our political leaders can be taken all that seriously

Trump and Netanyahu really should just be made into a circular human centipede

His next show will be one where people with cancer are told that their disease is in remission, go celebrate with their family, and then get publicly told that their cancer is actually getting worse

I’m not arguing that they didn’t get the MDR E. coli from the transplant, just that they likely would have gotten sick with or without the transplant. I take care of a lot of oncology patients who have low neutrophil counts due to chemotherapy. The infection risk for these patients is not from outside bacteria, but…

I’m sure that she drinks bleach along with her kids in solidarity, since it’s so harmless. Fuck these youtube assholes who are essentially promoting torturing the most vulnerable members of society