This gives me a combination of nostalgia and PTSD

The runner was heard saying “ Once more into the fray..” before he attacked the mountain lion

This was a medical school yearbook. People typically graduate medical school in the mid to late 20s. People graduating medical school should know better than teenage stupid stuff. He was a full grown adult on his way of taking care of patient as a physician

I hear the sale listing said “interesting trades considered”

It’s almost like nobody has ever lost money being stored in unregulated uninsured institutions before, so we as a society have not had an opportunity to avoid these things

Countdown to Cheeto in chief tweeting that the TSA employee was just upset the Democrats wouldn’t give him a big beautiful wall

Even worse are the cold remedies marketed towards kids. Lots of bad side effects and no efficacy, or just no efficacy and the irritation of trying to get them into a kid

In Siberia, no use bolts to hold rail to ground. Tracks held in place by political prisoners.

I have one of those giant umbrellas with a handle that makes it look like a sword and a holster I can sling across my back. One of my black friends correctly pointed out that these umbrellas are basically for white people only and that he would not stand next to me if I were wearing it on my back, lest he somehow gets…

Yea, that’s kind of how my wife tries to silence my snoring. It’s a much more low tech pillow

That face just screams “future rapist and Supreme Court justice”

Andy Pettitte needs more love

Maybe Belichick should take a job as white house chief of staff. Kill two birds with one stone. The most magnificent birds, some people say

I think that when you have to preemptively have to tell people how to cheer for a team, you should have stopped expanding 5 teams ago

Burger made of finest Chernobyl horse and bear. The polonium will make the comrades strong, for make win on behalf of America in the Superbowl

See, there’s a giant ice disk, global warming is fake news

Dude needs to get his thyroid hormone levels checked

Rand, you gotta use lube if you’re going to try to rub one out between the pages of Atlas Shrugged. 

He didn’t outswim anything, he just offered to pay someone to bring him along and then stiffed them on the bill

I’m actually genuinely surprised that there’s anyone out there with access to the internet who would want to hire this guy to do PR for them. Maybe they can also get Jared Fogle to weigh in on how kid-friendly the kingdom is.