You’re ignoring the fact that Musk also owns a rocket company. The tunnel is meant for Teslas with rockets attached to them, which is much faster. Plus Musk is an expert on cave submarines, so when the tunnel is flooded from the global warming (which happened because not enough people were buying Teslas due to fake…

The only way this gets better is if Gruden trades all his draft picks for the next 2-5 years for Josh Johnson, Mark Sanchez, and Eli Manning, then stitches them together into a “football” playing human centipede. 

I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or if it really is just that bad of a take. I say this is as a pediatrician and a scientist. There’s a reason we don’t just say “oh whatever, they’re teens, they’re going to do shit” - it’s because the leading causes of death in this age group are predominantly stupid teen shit.…

If that coach also opposes players kneeling during the national anthem, he’s perfect for the NFL

Next week it’ll be torn down and replaced by a statue of Trump. 

Once white people discovered Jesus, there was no way they weren’t going to shit on some people of color to slap his white face on some 3rd century whole foods equivalent

Also nobody knows what exactly they’re going to play, because it sure as hell is not NFL football

Yes, this! While our military has understood at least the basic idea of winning “hearts and minds” (we can debate the execution though..), the police has not applied this to the actual damn people of this country

The PBA is basically Sarah Huckabee Sanders and has to keep coming up with newer and more ridiculous justifications for racist asshole behavior. 

It’s easier to go through life without giving a shit about people other than yourself or your immediate family

I mean, this is the keystone of broken windows policing. If you let mothers with children sit on the floor of government buildings, next thing you know you have guys with assault rifles shooting up elementary schools....

I disagree with his opinions, but he’s a very talented writer. Every time I make the mistake of reading one of his columns, it’s almost like I can imagine him slamming his balls between a copy of the bible and Atlas Shrugged as he dictates each sentence and builds to a retrograde climax. 

I think your last point is arguable, but only in the sense that one can argue about whether it’s better to die from being hit by a truck or a bus. Either way, your pants are full of shit and it’s a closed casket funeral

Is it an ironic name? Because I look at these pictures and I really see nothing to be proud of. Why is it that the people who are most obsessed with preserving white purity are the saddest specimens of the race? Do those bylaws include a section on grooming and working out?

I’m a huge fan of the Baby Merlin magic sleepsuit. 

They should have just made them shit in all the Red Sox hats on board. Win for everyone involved

The NRA would like to note that in the text of the second amendment, when the framers wrote “well regulated militia”, they clearly meant “any white people, but really only white people”

They have a right to have their case heard under US and international law. They’re also fleeing violence that is a direct result of a lot of bad things our country has done to detastabilize central and south america. 

You mean the assistance of putting them in tent cities that are effectively run by the mexican drug cartels, which also murder and kidnap people with impunity? I’m sure you’d just at a chance to put your kids in those.

Isn’t this what missionaries have been doing forever? Go to some country that doesn’t want them, stir shit up, get a few white people killed, and then use that as an excuse to invade and kill people in the name of Jesus?