I disagree with his opinions, but he’s a very talented writer. Every time I make the mistake of reading one of his columns, it’s almost like I can imagine him slamming his balls between a copy of the bible and Atlas Shrugged as he dictates each sentence and builds to a retrograde climax. 

I think your last point is arguable, but only in the sense that one can argue about whether it’s better to die from being hit by a truck or a bus. Either way, your pants are full of shit and it’s a closed casket funeral

Is it an ironic name? Because I look at these pictures and I really see nothing to be proud of. Why is it that the people who are most obsessed with preserving white purity are the saddest specimens of the race? Do those bylaws include a section on grooming and working out?

I’m a huge fan of the Baby Merlin magic sleepsuit. 

They should have just made them shit in all the Red Sox hats on board. Win for everyone involved

The NRA would like to note that in the text of the second amendment, when the framers wrote “well regulated militia”, they clearly meant “any white people, but really only white people”

They have a right to have their case heard under US and international law. They’re also fleeing violence that is a direct result of a lot of bad things our country has done to detastabilize central and south america. 

You mean the assistance of putting them in tent cities that are effectively run by the mexican drug cartels, which also murder and kidnap people with impunity? I’m sure you’d just at a chance to put your kids in those.

Isn’t this what missionaries have been doing forever? Go to some country that doesn’t want them, stir shit up, get a few white people killed, and then use that as an excuse to invade and kill people in the name of Jesus?

I think Jesus or one of the other biblical figures probably had some thoughts on things like this. But the religious leaders only care about the kids who get aborted, not the ones who are born

I’m pretty sure they thought they and their children would be horribly murdered in their home country. I can guarantee they’re not doing it because they have better options

Do you by any chance happen to be of Irish, Italian, German, or Jewish descent? Because people kind of said the same thing when these (and many others) ethnic groups tried to immigrate to this country

This is totally messed up and a perfect example of how terrible our medical system is, but as easy as it is to hate on the hospital, it’s not actually their fault. One of the requirements you have to meet for an organ transplant is being able to take your immunosuppressive regimen after, otherwise the organ goes to…

I think “good guy with a gun” is just an excuse to legally shoot some random black people

If you send a self-addressed stamped envelope to the white house, they’ll mail you instructions for making your own KKK outfit and a complimentary MAGA hat

Now the republican side will be free to wear their Klan hoods to work

We did prime rib and a ham instead of turkey this year and in between the meat sweats and the meat shits, there was a period of pure bliss. Turkey is basically just a vehicle for gravy that takes up your fridge and oven for 3 weeks and contributes nothing.

Trump was reportedly furious when his answers were leaked to the NYT

I think the DOJ already has a few amicus briefs lined up on her behalf

For some teams, mass disembowelment of the fans might actually improve the smell