I've always wondered what kind of person has the disposable income to pay for any of these in app purchase games. Now that I know you do, can I have $500 to pay towards my rent? I'll give you one raccoon and do a flag waving tap dance!

You guys, I literally think I have a problem.

Fondant and feathers? I am overwhelmed by sadness from seeing this picture.

Mini pies are the best! There is a food truck in Phoenix that has personal pies and they are amazing. Perfect pie to filling ratio too. I search for it whenever I am there.

Here's what's wrong with cupcakes: they are much less moist than cake. I don't care about popular, pretentious, twee, or anything else. There's TOO MUCH surface area in contact with the pan, so they get dried out. Bleh. Just make cake. Cake is delicious.

Watched it, lived it, just as old. (Still living.)

My bff also hates cupcakes she says "Cupcake Haters Unite!".

True. And while the tone of this post is a bit over the top, I think we should all take a moment to be thankful that we no longer live in a time before Facebook, when someone might actually hold you by the arm while showing you the baby photos in their wallets, or invite you over for a "party," and then force you to…

Those are so fucking cute! And tasty looking.
I just don't get cupcakes. But an individual sized pie? Sign me up, like three times a day! My boyfriend and I already decided should we ever have a wedding we're doing pie and donuts. Fuck cake.
Unless it's ice cream cake. It can stay.

My rage stroke upon reading this earlier, and my similar "oh no, RBG, no . . ." is only mildly and perhaps in a delusional manner placated by the hopes that this represents a trade. RBG et al support a narrow (and it seemingly is, despite Roberts' removed-from-reality rhetoric) decision here and Roberts will join…

For real. Can we just move on to mini-pies on every corner, already?

Oh, and hot sauces really vary from culture to culture. I wouldn't think of using anything but Sriracha - because of the vinegar base - for Asian food. But I grab Cholula or Tapatio for Mexican food. Frank's is really generic, but makes for a good marinade.

Here's the other reason I did a Foods That Should Not Exist: since this is the column that landed me this job, and a trip out of the nightmare that is the food industry, I thought it only fitting that my last full feature as a Recruit (other than next Monday's BCO) be a probably-overdue edition of Foods That Should…

Oh girl, do I ever feel your pain! That's why — when I *do* find a bra that fits — I buy every single one they have and just stick them in my lingerie drawer. I'm with you on the mad cleavage thing too, which is why I'm grateful my gym has a women's only section. (It's actually why I chose it.)

I still miss Peter Jennings.

I have to admit, though, she's right. Joshes are almost universally awful. Doubly so for Joshuas.

I love how leaving a kid alone for one minute is UNsafe... But being just fine with driving while there is a risk of seizures is SAFE.

Whoops. I was banging out a comment about how being a gas station attendant isn't gonna win you many points with the gated community, helicopter types crawling all over the thread... But Kinja et it.