Pat Robertson was actually conceived through subway frottage. That’s why his name is Pat.

Every time I see a headline that starts with “Pat Robertson,” I secretly hope that it will be followed by, “Dies in Bizarre Anal Sex Ritual.”

I work at a university, and two years ago I sat on an admissions committee. Our prospective students (this is a graduate program) are asked to submit short videos that tell us a little bit about themselves and why they want to come to our program.

Was Beyonce’s basic piano playing just supposed to be for affect? No one’s asking you to be John Legend or Alicia Keys, Bey.

It did sound that way.

Did you ever hear her cover Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

The FEELS

My goodness, I miss her soul. too soon. too tragic.

I'm gonna go see this, and I'm going to cry my eyes out in the theatre.

Whoever the fuck makes her happy. Applies to us all.

*walks to podium, shuffles papers, clears throat, puts on glasses*

"Y'all ain't about to white guilt me out this check. Miss me with all that!"

I approve of this union. Commence.

Take their things away. Limit them financially. Restrict their movement. When all of that fails, that's when you resort to intimidation tactics.

that's my favorite part too! she is just the BEST

i hope this whole baby bit about her keeps going into her 30s #neverforget

rly?

OMG BEYONCE HAS PORES?!

Didn't Jez feature an Brititsh lady that was over 100 a while ago, who never married because she was fine being single? I SEE A PATTERN.

Family, stability, trust. Lord knows..