Red should be immediately relabeled “Urine big trouble mister”. They pissed that opportunity away.

“These people have awful names.”

Honestly who the fuck cares what opinion writers think? You’re lumping a bunch of calcified hacks in with actual reporters, who are doing incredible and vital work. The NYT has flaws, obviously, but slandering their reporters with the work of their opinion journalists isn’t fair to the people doing actual work.

True to Louisville, his celebration was premature.

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

Actually they were applauding because they showed an anti-STEM commercial on the jumbotron.

I love reading old reminders that our ancestors were just as horny as we are. Recently I learned about the Secret History by Procopious, which was written in the 6th century and is full of some outrageous slander about Theodora, Emperor Justinian’s wife. He basically writes a whole thing about how much of a slut she…

Don’t blame me, I’m voting Meteor.

This feels like one of those fake actress photos with a girl bending over a couch, only made specifically for Drew Magary.

Their tears are so delicious

Everyone in that photo looks sketchy as fuck.

Or a clumsy proctologist

Carson Wentz will win Super Bowl MVP this year, fuck you.

I searched “below average” and got a nice selfie.

Once again Patrick you buried the lead. Panthers are the best undefeated team in the NFL right now.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muphry%27…

Eh, I'm sure when the big moment comes the Seahawks will probably pass.

I’m horrified to learn how many of you sad bastards visit Buffalo Wild Wings often enough to have a nickname for it.

“How dare you sit there and blame white people for the problems of the minority communities. After all, aren’t you half white? Didn’t two white parents adopt you, after yours weren’t willing to raise you?!”