This seems like a perfect segue into a story about the lack of minorities working in NFL front offices.

did you.....did you watch the video?

Email me at marchman at deadspin dot com and I can give you info on our BOFA program, which you can use to avoid both ads and the need to self-righteously upbraid people who have nothing to do with ads.

No, there is an additional reason aside from jealousy to not like this move. That reason is entertainment. You know, the whole reason we watch sports. Do you like to know the endings to movies before you even start watching them? This season is going to be boring as hell. I have no desire to watch a team roll through…

I resemble that comment!

I tore a hamstring just watching that. That’s insane!

You actually don’t know what you’re talking about.

Don’t apologize for using your brain, just stop doing it.

Look. I know it’s Bryce Harper and all, but this isn’t news. Everyone knows when you haven’t even had the chance to stroke a dong in a while, when you finally get one it’s gonna shoot the fuck outta there.

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

The mushrooms help.

Yup. Under audio books, science fiction.

Can I just say, as a purveyor of portmanteau celebrity names, I want to make love to your Kinja handle.

Some of us like the sweet slow science, as opposed to shoving rockets up our asses and blinking across a map.

Nah.

I’ve composed a poem/insane person rant using all of Drew’s all caps words:

The case against it, every one of my wife’s friends.

Who hasn’t?

Baby blue and teal are really awful colors.