Gee willikers! Heck, guys!

Son of a piece of shit is, himself, a piece of shit and hangs with other known pieces of shit to do piece of shit things. Film at 11. 

Wait, I’m confused. I thought Trump hates Puerto Ricans. But the guy was a soldier, so now he likes them? It’s almost like the narrative twists to fit the situation. How does the base keep up? Puerto Ricans are bad, unless their good, but only if they die in the military?

Right? Never once suspecting that there are probably just as many people waiting for them as they are waiting for other people. The lack of self-awareness is mind-blowing.

I pretty much thought everyone was in agreement since day one that Trump, himself, drew that. Only he would think that he’s brilliant enough to fool everyone with such a lazy, hack maneuver. Besides, he said “I don’t know” three times when asked who did it, so of course he did it. You get more convincing denials from…

Bingo. No critical thought applied. The base just hears the words, marries them into a thing that they can be scared of, and it becomes their reality. 

Jesus it’s scary how much a gun is a supplement for low-T in this country. I’m going to guess that any of those open carriers at a grocery store look more like Uncle Fester and less like Dwayne Johnson.

Listen, I think “sentient” is an awful stretch when referring to the glob of chicken grease.

Just remember, you’ll be able to hear better if you just silently clutch your pearls rather than move them around like rosary beads.

I’ll bet you’re a hoot at parties.

Pretty bored. We don’t have the luxury of fingering-fucking one another in some weird insular circle of denial like you MAGA chuds do. 

Oh, this fucking jerkoff again. *yawn*

I don’t think thin-skinned even accurately describes it anymore. He transcends a whole other plane of existence in taking pointless offense that we should beg for him to be thin-skinned.

There’s not a universe anywhere where Trump is that clever with word play.

For better or worse, Batman isn’t a character that can have people replace him and you get the same quality in return. And the color of the skin has nothing to do with it. You can give a new guy a Green lantern ring or have someone else bitten by a radioactive spider or given a super soldier serum, but Batman’s…

Very inexpensive! Except for the hundreds of thousands of dollars (or more!) in Secret Service security, fuel for the helicopter, salary for the helicopter pilot....

Yet another way trump is exactly like Hitler. He hates traveling as much as Hitler did. He’ll begrudgingly go if he has to, but he bugs the hell out as soon as he can so he can retreat to one of his safe spaces. Why should Trump go to Poland when he can send Himmler....uh, Pence?

What??? It’s not the stately bald eagle that he so cowardly fled from when it was on his desk in Trump Tower? That hurts.

If all tough guys are this fucking whiny and soft, what the fuck was I so worried about in middle school and high school??

The tie is too short, the fucking hack.