Couldn’t agree more. My mom would have issued a statement “I apologize for the actions of my son. He is dead now so he will not be saying anything like this is the future.”

I read that in a heavy Boston accent. JD Pow-ah.

“An armed assailant entered NRA headquarters today and opened fire. Fortunately no one was hit by these shots. Unfortunately 114 people in the building were killed when everyone pulled out their guns and aimlessly returned fire. The gunman was able to escape in all the confusion and remains at large.”

It’s just like Goldeneye, where all the bad guys drop ammo when they die. 

Kremer was’t done, however. “Chris, when you have you ever known our military just to go shoot people up?” she asked.

Yes, but it comes with a free frogurt!

There was something so glorious about the joke in Deadpool 2 about how having the mutation of luck seems like the kind of thing a guy who couldnt draw feet would come up with.

Obligatory:

I’ve worked with people from Zimbabwe. I probably DO want their uncles here. Seriously, asshole, most of the Africans that come to this country work their everloving asses off, go to church, get educated, and raise great kids. 

Donald Jr.: “So I am be president now?”

(Cup pictured above, prior to damage.)

LOL....The Aliens agree

Yeah, I mean, its a shame that people can only ever work on a single thing at a time and everything is a zero sum game. OH WELL!

The Question Begins

What’s next, you want a room with no dead hookers? What am I a magician?

It’s a gateway snack. One day you’ve got Mentos, the next you’re carrying Skittles and iced tea, which is the most dangerous weapon of them all.

“People might think you might flip the House and Senate this November, but you guys always find a way to mess it up. You’re somehow gonna lose by 12 points to a guy named Jeff Pedophile Nazi Doctor.”

I think these women are saying they did Nazi this coming.