Maybe we should send one of OBAMA’S GUBMINT GUILLOTINES to him.

(Srsly, that’s a thing now among the rightwing mouthbreathers: Obama’s bought thousands of guillotines and is going to start beheading white folks.)

møping

I prefer the portmanteau “moping”

Does this mean Gawker is qualified to run for President now?

Brock Turner watches this and wonders why he was penalized for a bad first touch

A poll of 24 random writers and editors last year named Gawker journalism’s dirtiest player, but that both misses the point and flatters Gawker. SPY was dirty. The New York Post is dirty. The National Enquirer is dirty. They were and/or are good enough to line up dirty plays intentionally. Gawker may also be dirty,…

Magic Ballshot Theory

Candler Felts? Didn’t even know ’er felts!

“I did not have textual relations with that woman.”

#whiteboardlivesmatter

Netflix pitch: Ken Starr biopic, starring Reed Birney from House of Cards

That makes, what, 80 NBA victims of GSWs this year?

In former Soviet Utah, transgenders forcing bathrooms to use Obama

Milennials self-identify as splintersectional.

(They have to to fit into those jeans, amirite?)

After the kid dies during the next stunt, Florida will institute a hotline to report sports-parent abuse like this.

If I’d really had my shit together, I’d have handed him my phone and told him to call his house — where I’d answer because I was there right now.

I once ran into Bill Pullman coming out of a bookstore in San Francisco. In my head I went “Bill ____!” and stopped my mouth from saying exactly that.

She’s carrying it up Googltha?

Any bird that can TIE KNOTS:

His entire life, including his defense of gun companies and an expansive approach to the 2nd Amendment?