I mean, it’s not even accurate. He probably doesn’t even own any minorities.

I had a LOT of fun in my twenties, then had two kids so I guess this represents my vag to crazy, possibly fictitious god sandwich lady.

The UPS truck must be the cat equivilent of a limo; they have so many boxes to choose from!

I envision him walking up to the podium for his acceptance speech, shouting “The Aristocrats!” before dropping the mic and heading overseas for a very long vacation on some private island.

As much I hate to admit it. She has some points. Feminism has caused women to be unhappy because we’re actively ignoring some of the fundamental differences between men and women. Now before you beer guzzling, gas pumping, plant eating lesbians jump down my throat-hear me out!

Her liberal use of the word “tots” always

Welcome to Congressional Cacophony, a new feature on The Slot about House and Senate races that really, really matter.

Ok, can’t post them all but this one is my favorite. It pretty much sums up Florida Man.

I feel like “HamNo and Torch Insult New Cars” could be a regular feature.

Ikea? Girlfriend? Drivers license? Has a extra dollar?

My Theory: Lebron James warged into Keving Love for those 14 seconds.

I think my dream romantic pairing for one of these movies right now would be Helen Mirren and Dwayne Johnson. I have only seen the first, so I don’t even know if he’s in them, but it seems like the two of them together would be perfect for this franchise. He would be the trophy husband. She would be whatever she wants…

I see where those guys from SB Nation went.

Something reasonable but unrealistic (“After a meeting with the commissioners, the NFL has pledged to institute a zero tolerance domestic violence policy with automatic one year suspension and loss of wages”) that they will look terrible when backtracking.

1. Delete all tweets.

well it is possible that the future first lady of the USA is Slovenian. So you’ve got that going for you...which is nice.

Slovenia in the news! As someone who’s 1/4 Slovenian, this is very exciting!

That’s cuz a lot of VCs are just dudes who got rich by accident. They were the 11th salesman hired at pre-IPO Oracle or Apple or whatever. Then they got some investment success by putting some dough into Google. The whole strategy is to just invest in a lot of stuff and hope that one of them goes big. It’s not really…

Top tier VC firms actually turned Theranos down because they didn’t think they had the science. The second tier VC firms desperate to get into the game invested without as much research. I don’t feel sorry for them