Was expecting this to be a local-interest South Carolina food story about Lindsay Graham’s reelection campaign

A lot of things can go wrong in service of saving a minute and a few spins of a four-way.

Dinky Digits Donald

Why did Varenyky have to rape Holubtsi’s pet bird?

Make America Dense Again

SOCKGHAZI

1. Demand for money

This entire thing is great, but in particular I loved:

This picture always reminds that I REALLY want to see Bryan Cranston do a Sherman biopic

You got your stufflebeam in my rear admiral!

I heard that his employer gave him a chance to move over to beteween-periods NHL coverage, but he had to turn it down ...

Because ESPN never gave him a Zamboni instructional!

Also probably the only pop song to extol the joys of being pegged: “She walked in through the out door”

Love that shambolic drunken cover by Zevon & 3/4 of REM.

“We’ll start with a broad list”

Grub Fan Bids Belt Adieu

Menschsplaining

(Yes, yes, I know, Kasich is most certainly *not* a mensch in the praiseworthy sense.)

American Talibench

Hey, at least he didn’t name his kid Lyndon.

“We were in deep, man,” says Blaine Boyer without the slightest touch of irony.