La oruga jefe!

Es muy bueno.

a very pronounced unibrow. I mean very pronounced.

Are we overlooking the most obvious reason this trade got made? Isn’t is most likely that the Mets thought they were trading for Abe Froman, the sausage king of Chicago?

“You’ve been traded to the Giants.”

He didn’t rep them so they can fuck right off as far as he's concerned

Can you believe that just four years ago, it was a distinct possibility that the Mets and Blue Jays could have met in the damn World Series? And it was the Royals of all teams that won the damn thing.

“Win” is a strong word. It’s more like they made a situation in which everybody loses along with them.

Buying at the deadline five games under .500 to pwn the libs

You asked for trades!

Also a potato.

Has anyone ever pointed out that Jeter is in the same “face family” as Putin.

It should've been IMPOSSIBLE for me to dislike a Marlins owner more than Loria but man, Jeter sure isn't stopping short of that mark.

*slowly velcros back on shoes and shirt*

Sir, please put your shirt and shoes back on or else we’ll have to deny you service

IKR? I forget for years at a time that Jacksonville has more than one and a half million people. I went there for a conference a while ago and a German colleague was looking out at the Jacksonville “skyline” and he asked, “So this is America?”

NFL team categories are as follows:

That’s because they don’t love America enough. Until they start supporting our troops, they’ll never have a net winning season.

fooooooooootballlllllllllllllllllllllaghdsl;kgndgvhlbgdg

fuck you, my team has no kicker