All fair points, thanks for the lengthy reply. 

Four points:

He can go to Miami, maybe with the Heat’s unprotected 2021 pick that’s been shuffled around to four or five teams, for Dragic and Kelly Olynyk. Then you’d have Russ and Jimmy Butts together. Nobody else would see the ball, which is fine because none of them can shoot it anyway.

mah wahf

The Blazers wanted a gallop, but he gave them a Kanter

They should hang it in their old building, right before they demolish it.

The Wizards are essentially a mental-health-hotline for Knicks fans...

As best as I can tell, all of these deals are two year except Randle’s (partially guaranteed 3rd year). Which means they either want to have expiring contracts to flip next year... or...

Had a booger wiper in my office. Then we lost a co-worker to sepsis, and the booger wiping stopped.

But the important thing here is that since Drew is gone, I can state for the record that the official stance of the Funbag is now that mayonnaise is awesome and delicious and one of our finest condiments and makes just about everything better. Mayo forever.

Durant and Kyrie will both go to Brooklyn. In two years, they will win an NBA title. Then Kyrie will decide that he wants to be the alpha on a championship team and demand a trade. He will be dealt to the promising Atlanta Hawks. He will miss most of the next season due to injury, and they will surprise everyone by…

I ended up buying two Panameras before I finished the article.

Except the part where Harden tries to burn down Paul’s house, that actually happened

Do Kawhis dream of electric raptors?

Usually it’s only allowed while you’re wearing skates, but we’ll let it go this time.

The Sixers won the championship the same way Heinke revolutionized being a GM, only dip shits believe it's true. 

As a Knicks fan I still envy their situation, not just because they just won 3 championships in the past 5 years but because they still have Steph Curry, Draymond Green and a well run organization.

And sky high housing costs.

Or that the buying experience is still a giant antiquated pain in the ass. 

Or an entire generation hitting the job market with loads of debt.