Normally yes it’d be better if they were a playoff team but for the following:

In terms of low-key burns though finishing a sentence with a quote from the Six Fingered Man was pretty damn good. 

The Brave should respond rationally and calmly to this and just bean literally every Marlins player until everyone gets off their fucking high horse and plays the goddamn game already, fuck. 

You sound like the sort of person who thinks brake checking is perfectly ok. 

If this years offseason was like last years it’ll hard to find a team willing to take an expensive chance on anything. 

Unfortunately the comeuppances won’t arrive until the TV revenue shows any hint of declining and brother that doesn’t seem to be happening.

I miss living in Virginia where the farmers markets always had “ugly” fruit that was too bruised or otherwise messed up to sell and always made the best jams and sauces.

Aesthetically: Washington.

If anything is older than 1970 in Miami it is only appreciated by people who have since moved to Broward.

So key. I have two cats at home but neither are allowed in my bedroom and I’m generally fine with them. Meanwhile I spend the night at my girlfriend’s studio with her two cats and wake up with my nose completely stuffed every time.

Guys it’s really not that hard. Just remember: Garra is Spanish for claw and Pollo means chicken so just ... wait ...

No one ever won the Temple Run and it was just sad to watch as a result. The schadenfreude of an entitled kid covered in “snot” losing on Double Dare was so much better.

I’m glad to have read this because the Destiny subreddit would have one believe this is the greatest thing to have ever happened to the game. 

Jalen Jelk is the name of some background character from a Star Wars expanded universe novelization. One in which Chewbacca is the main character. 

I think this was his way of saying that his core consumer base of dipshit racist frat boys really identify with him? Which he’s maybe not entirely wrong there. 

The fans pitching thing is all well and good until someone gets beaned, charges the mound, and finds out that people in Queens actually know how to fight. Before you know it half your team is on the DL. 

I remember being in a skybox at a Dolphins game with my dad’s best friend and getting dragged away from the finger foods, air conditioning and TV sets to an uncomfortable upper-lower deck seat where I had no idea what was happening and was sweating my ass off. I was 10 years old, extremely nearsighted, and probably…

Went once when someone else’s office couldn’t find anyone dumb enough to take the tickets save for my friend who is a Vikings fan.

What I like most about the header video is that I was seated very nearly in that exact same spot at the one and only NFL game I’ve attended as an adult when an extremely drunk Rob Ford lookalike in a backwards FSU visor named Chad* decided it would be a good idea to play with the back of a kid’s head.

Just as someone should tip more on a cocktail that takes more than a minimum of effort to make, people should really tip more on flight pours.