Every single TV show needs more Adam Pally.

How much you want to bet there will be a huge contingent of people who will say all the "we're raising a generation of weak babies, nobody can take a joke, helicopter parents, everybody gets a trophy, etc" bullshit?

There are not enough Grumpy Cat GOOD! gifs on the internet to describe the joy i feel that this little wastes of flesh are going to get charged. I won't even call them pieces of shit, they don't deserve that title. Shit can be used to fertalize the ground so crops can grow. These things provide nothing so good.

I don't know what it's like to report being charged with a crime when applying to college, but I hope it's pretty much impossible for these little shitstains to go. They should all have to do their community service at a waste plant.

um...yeah.

Why can't we just call vegan leather what it actually is? It's vinyl/"pleather."

yes, but we probably would have had democratic presidents for a LOOOONG time after that.

The site tried to get its ads into the Super Bowl but was quickly rejected

Let me see if I understand this. This writer is ostensibly trying to present her positively, yet describes her as "earnest as quinoa?" I get that the writer is probably trying to be clever, but "earnest as quinoa?" Earnest as quinoa. That phrase is going to rattle around in my brain for at least the next for…

So the woman who got scratched has until the next blood moon to kill the original one or she turns into Amanda Bynes, right?

Yes, I was joking.

"Clearly the lesson here is do not go on national television with Miley Cyrus—helpful advice that I'm sure Robin Thicke could also attest to."

dafuq

Christianity Today gave this stinker a half a star. I'm not the only one saying this movie is asinine. Also don't presume that you know my stance on Christianity just because I think the Left Behind books are fucking claptrap.

PLEASE LET ONE OF THE MEN BE JESSE WILLIAMS

I'm a diehard Coke Zero drinker, I can't see switching to anything with calories. And, to the legions who would tell me so: yes, I know it's bad. I've tried and failed to give it up at least a dozen times.

Oh, honey, you'll bee okay.