Isn’t that a line from AbFab?

I like her shoes...maybe...I think?

I’ve always been very curious about the bolt gun they use for livestock...

I deliberately skipped the Bachelor last night so I’d have something less painful to do on Hulu during this evening’s hell circus.

I was in the kitchen for like 5.5 hours today making Superbowl foods cuz my dad is a lunatic , and everyone else in the fam has at least 1 dietary restriction...all I can say is fuck doing that again, and tomorrow I’m living off Tea and regret.

All I really took away from this was... “Huh...I’ve only liked Rebel Wilson in 2 movies.” I feel that indirectly says it all.

Fingers crossed someone sends him a bunch of really filthy testers from like...the worlds oldest cosmetics counter to fill that shit in.

From what I remember of sex-ed in TX of ‘99 it was mostly just an excuse for the really immature little shits to sit around and giggle at the pictures of the external symptoms of STI’s presented by dongs...

Good on you for 5 years. I’m 6 weeks to the day into what my Doctor led me to believe is going to be a lifelong sentence...I’m still trying to figure out what to do with my hands

I’ve had EXCELLENT luck waiting maybe 3-4 months for diesel to release and then mark down a lot of their giant graphic bags. Always like 3 ways to carry them, just this side of too many pockets, and sturdy enough I don’t care if they go through the washer. Plus they can provide good heft on NYE if I’ve gone “too much b…

RIGHT? OH NO, OH NO QUIT RAPING MY EARLY 30'S. OH THE HUMANITY <TAKES CLASS ON NEGGING>

Anyone else surprised his image of the wall wasn’t rendered in Red crayon?

🎶Vodka and handguns for all the children of the world🎶

You stole my words!!!

Now if only I can avoid the attack campaign on Twitter against Glenn Close by Gaga’s rabid idiotic fanbase. “Who’s Glenn Close?”, “She’s Junk”, “I thought she was dead”, “What a has been.” JFC...

And for the rest of her days, may her gels never set.

I’m pretty sure if you read it upside down and backwards, that’s page 3 of the Necronomicon

Toxic friendships, family history, need for attention, aversion to therapy, overall stupidity. I don’t think paint thinner though unless you count really cheap gin.

Ha! I wish it were that easy. My 20's finally caught up to me after my insurance lapsed. So I’m dealing with major liver damage, and god knows how much in hospital bills. 🤕🤕🤕

I’m too sick for this idiot. Wake me when my pho gets here.