This is like the Hardy Boys, but without the sweaters and repressed sexuality. 

His shot looks worse than Lonzo Ball’s...

I like Joel Embiid.

Wait, we *can’t* have them settle this with a deathmatch? I’m so sad right now.

Is this a good cat?

Was there ever a case *FOR* Goodell?

Good, I hope this guy rots forever.

Have you seen how those guys press on each other? It’s like cauliflower ear, but for nipples.

To be fair, he was just trying to get a job in the Cowboys organization.

FTFY

Or they should have to legally change their names to whatever their handle is (like ThErEaPeR, or whatever) in *that* format, forever.

That *is* a strategic store of body fat for their average 9 degree temperature there, so savvy might just be the right word...

And who says Thursday night football can’t be exciting?

If this was a first offense I’d be more willing to accept it from him, but when you’ve pretty much made a career out of hot flaming dumpster fire takes, your “I’m ACTUALLY sorry for this one” rings pretty hollow. Fuck that guy.

I guess we should give him a participation trophy for doing his darnedest to sweep his shittiness under the rug

Yeah but now his suspension is in doubt and somewhere in the 16th Court of Appeals. Really fucking sucks for my Fantasy Commissioner League.

Thanks, guys.

It’s like you’ve been sitting in my living room this whole time. I’ll do it tonight, and not tomorrow.

I was thinking dead hookers, but, you know, same same

After Trump sends us all to hell by starting the nuke wars, the only things left will be cockroaches, twinkees, and Little Caesars, so at least they’ve got durability going for them.