Just wait until you see the great new running back Lo'Rem Ipsum.

Nice piece. Very well done. And hating on Bronies feels so very 2012. Who's got the energy or time anymore to bother with what TV show people like? Bronies seem by and large to be nice people. Let's leave them be.

"Deeeeah Mr. Trestman,

It's so funny when you can tell that the glass in someone's glasses is non-prescription. I always end up feeling a little embarrassed for them.

Blue ice will never not remind me of airplane toilet water.

Thanks for correcting my totally serious comment and for the physics lesson. :/

If you squat and pull up really hard on your heels, you might levitate a little bit and get the number down.

I always thought douche Woody Allen said that. Glad that the more deserving Groucho gets credit instead.

Now what about those White Spot restaurants you got out west? Sounds pretty racist if you ask me. But the chicken fried steak is pretty good, regardless.

"The struggle is real" is one of those sayings that makes no sense at all, and is completely meaningless, yet people still use for some reason.

To answer the final question: A boner feels tight. It can ache a little if it's extra extra hard and "throbbing." It doesn't hurt unless pulled in the wrong direction, namely down. It moves from side to side pretty easily. It's not as wild of an experience as it might appear to an outsider (non dick-haver). A boner is…

Plus music from Beach House!

The organizers of Progeria Fest '14 are starting to wonder whether Coach Calhoun was the right choice for keynote speaker.

A few minutes later, John From Cincinnati called, but no one could tell what the fuck he was talking about, so everyone changed the station.

You're SUPPOSED to give the ball to a kid. Whatchoo want, a cookie??

-This is a grown man who still brings afucking glove to baseball games. Who does that? Jesus.-

It's the Zapbutter Film.

Can we be brutally honest for a second: Isn't it just a little suspect that a man would choose to pursue a medical field that's dedicated solely on women's sexual organs? Of course there are great, honest, non creepy male gynecologist out there. But there has got to be a significant portion who basically did it so…

Having a strongly negative opinion of any university is indicative of wasted priorities.

Pork is preferable to hump.