APD is Annunaki Pizza Delivery. C’mon, man.

Gee whiz, use a napkin, Daenerys

An Auburn woman calling herself an ambassador for God and his son, Jesus Christ, filed a federal lawsuit Friday against all homosexuals....

This is great!

and I’m gonna post some favorite pizza gifs too

I will use this as an excuse to post this

You can plug either vibrator into a standard USB port...

Write a list of all the words that feel embarrassing to you (“penis”, “vagina”, “fingerbanging”). Pick one to start with, then say it to yourself inside your head. Repeat it over and over and over

“Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.”

I’m afraid of being laughed at AND being murdered. By anybody.

Why not just tweet less, dude?

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.

For my money, the #1 anti-muslim ladybigot is Brigitte Gabriel!

Vertical stripes are slimming, right?

Not just pastor-cum, pastor-cum-Arkansas! Looks like sausage gravy; best spurted on biscuits.