Really? I thought it was a John Wayne Bobbit euphemism...

The Corvette, because it’s more practical if you want to go shopping.

I’m not even sure wtf I’m looking at here.

Clearly the answer is Miata and $50,000 worth of upgrades.

Going to get a lot of unique visitors for this grandma creampie video, all of whom will leave, in a huff, & very, very disappointed.

“Sorry about my bulging arms. I’ve been circuit training.”

Shocking testimony

Like the Simpsons said:

I watched them whenever I could. The problem was they put GLOW on at 2 or 3 in the morning, so I couldn’t always catch the show. Man, I do miss that show, though.

It would also be a good place to sober up, what with Carmelo hoarding all of the shots.

dat articulation doe

Submitting any sort of tip to Jezebel is a sure way to get it cut off.

Different Strokes Fer Different Folks.

I think the most reasonable response is to submit the comment to Jezebel as a news tip and see how things play out.

This is the dick pic I send to all the ladies I know on the Twitter.

Who’s dick game is A1.

Probably because she feels that even though she’s a porn star every athlete and “celebrity” shouldn’t feel free to ask if she will fuck them.

I really don't know how to respond to this

Can’t believe she didn’t go for the :eyes: emoji!

I should have gotten pepperoni, to use as a point of meat-reference in analyzing the dog bites, but for some damn reason I went with pineapple.