Tough it out.

For real, full of shit. Just look at all these other quotes where he judged character all wrong

Ain't nobody eva et fifty eggs!

If you can cross light years of space, you can handle a couple F-16s. It'd be best to land in the place most likely to be very public AND get shot at because it's gonna be impressive when those missiles harmlessly bounce right off or better yet inexplicably veer off course or just plain fucking disappear.

"Noelle!" she yelled as soon as we sat in the room. "Would you like to sit next to a handsome man?"

Yeah, I’m with you, pretty much everything you said. I could be totally wrong, but I didn’t immediately see him as the bad guy here.

Two more words: “bad ass.”

Sloppy 25ths

He jerked off to that picture of your ear. You know that, right?

Are those baggy pants pulled up to your armpits, grandpa?

I make a lot more selling my used sweaty socks to perverts. My website, if your interested:

oh my...

Europeans don't drink tap water at restaurants. They buy bottled water or other beverages. I don't think you'd be considered rude, just weird. I like that in America I can get a glass of water with ice in it at a restaurant. And they'll even put a lemon wedge in it.

This is the opposite. You are conserving. To such a degree that it would seem you actually give a shit.

Jesus, talk about first world problems.

My wife cannot resist Munchies. I buy them for her because she loves them, and for my own Mix-A-Lot-ian motives. She will eat everything but the pretzels, and then leave the bag of pretzels in the cabinet, well, pretty much forever. So that there'll be like four or five eaten-down-to-the-pretzels-only bags of…

how did he not get bit?? I hope he's not bit.

Which one of you said "Boom"?

It don't make you dumb it just slows you dowwnnnnn

And the crossfit freaks' wedding night will look something like this: