But it's just slang. You know, like the way "cool" people don't actually have a lower body temperature. Same with "hot people - not any warmer than you or I.

If she doesn't get eaten I'm gonna be pissed.

Did he have any days when he was masturbating to porn?

Luckier than you think. I once found an engagement ring in a pile of bear scat. (don't ask why I dig through piles of bear scat)

He just watched the The Fifth Element and was blown away.

clowns

just the tip

weight in salt

Google image searched "wedding fails", limited results to animated images.

there's one thing people don't tell you about wedding fairs: No one comes out the same way they came in.

i'll just leave these here

The not-even close dunk is a sad think to witness,

wut

So this liquid diet allowed her to pour herself into that corset?

And then there's this problem:

Anybody who just "Goes about their business" is a fucking asshole.

A handshake with no grip, just a floppy hand has long been referred to as a cold fish or dead fish handshake.

I don't do that. But I rarely shake hands (I was hard for me to learn); I just smell their butts.