I'd love to know which penises she uses for which mood. "I'm feeling a little down, so I'm going to go with medium-girth, long, curved up today".

I love kissing + neck and ice cube + nipples! Seriously, those are two of my favorites, and while I haven't done everything, I've done a lot.

Ugh, even at 30 and with a healthy appreciation of gender theory and the influence of social norms, reading this stuff makes me feel like a girl-failure and therefore a person-failure. Damn you, conditioning!

Hey, I'm glad for the repost—I need all the serenity cat I can get.

Awesome-est two sentences including the word "victim" ever:

Oh I know it. I'd love to see him move up to MA/NH/ME... he'd get such an ass-kicking.

Fucked up as this is, the part that gets me wanting to throw punches is the "you're from Maine" bit. And I'm a New Hampshirite.

<3

So, if some guy drugged Cee-Lo and forced him to have sex against his will, he'd be cool with that?

I'd like to suggest using "slaves" instead of "brides"/"wives"—I know that the quotation marks capture the whole "their term, not mine" thing, but I think it's worth calling a spade a spade.

I'm so ready for a national freak-out about this kind of bullshit. Anyone without severe PTSD wanna start things off? I'll end up in the hospital if I try to write a piece about this for a general (non-Jezebel) audience.

The red and yellow pigments found in bright fruit and vegetables increase skin yellowness

Well, we've figured out why they're endangered—a massive giant panda conspiracy to stop breeding to make sure they get the cushy zoo treatment we wouldn't give them if there were pandas hanging from the rafters.

I always really, really hope that "mistakes" like this are the work of a seriously badass employee.

Maybe the secret is to look for a boss who uses he/she (or gender-neutral equivs.)

Oh god I wish it was only a week for me :(

I always wonder how many people who do things like this are doing (attempting) amends for 12-step programs. I've got some weird stuff to pay for and/or apologize for.

Somerville, MA: $1350 for a studio, now slightly farther from the T and paying the same for a 1 bdrm.

I forgive you.

Or a vampire.