“Bad Moon Rising” over here

Dago bread = like, Italian bread?

Does heating up one of those Aldi take-and-bake pizzas count as cooking?

Maybe in Dollarydoos

As a white man with not much talent, I am jealous of other white men with not much talent who keep failing upwards.

There would certainly be more riots than usual

Jeez, sounds like he’s not gonna Virk there anymore

I knew I shouldn’t have fallen asleep during my SATs. Sorry, mom.

Mr. Bündchen

We like to think the world is changing at a frantic pace, but it isn’t. In a lot of ways, these are the 1960s all over again, and we are just taking another lap on the hamster wheel of history. The only difference is, we bore easier and more quickly. We think we are entitled to something new every six months or…

You mean Uncle Robert?

This is really fantastic advice. Thanks for posting.

No shame in that White Castle game. The day all the franchises closed in Northeast Ohio is perhaps the darkest day of my adult life

This post does little more than to remind me that I am a serial first-date-haver.

Yeah, what the fuck? I guess my semi-Herculean efforts last year didn’t get counted.

WRONG. Bury your spare change in jars in your backyard like my grandpa does. Seems to be working for him. Dude can afford name-brand canned pasta.

Good thing his brothers Bathan, Cathan, Dathan, and Fathan have committed to Ohio State though

Son of a britch

Goodnight, elite prince

Really? At least there’s some mental balm in March for it being when springtime technically starts and there are some nice-ish days. February is just one genital-slap of a month, brief however it may be.