It’s only January 2nd but this is in the running for most correct take of the year.

I’m puzzled on this too. I’m no Amazon apologist, but we use Prime at work (receiving about 10-15 packages a week) and I use it personally (1-2 packages a month) and have noticed no slowdown at all. I’ve been satisfied with holiday present shipping as well.

Now I know what I’m doing Christmas Day. Thanks!

This and Drew’s alive-ness is making my afternoon way better.

Please give me your personal e-mail so I can send you detailed arguments and/or threats about your hot dog opinions

If it poisons them to death, it’s their own fucking fault, and they can go to hell!

I went to the Catholic funeral of a friend’s close relative a few months ago. The priest there also spent about a half-hour talking solely about the church, and only about two minutes on the person who had actually, you know, died. Their grandchildren sitting up front didn’t take much solace in the advice to say a…

R.I.P. Graham. My fave Python. And a wonderful Biggus.

More importantly, how close is Baker Mayfield to getting the all-important and lucrative Mr. Hero endorsement deal?

Unbelieva-bowl

Oh damn, I feel this one. My business is closed between Christmas and New Year’s, and while I’m grateful for it, I’ve come to dread the Suburban Boredness of going home for the holidays.

Dude, this rules.

It’s true! The state of Pennsylvania is doing you a favor by making you go to five different stores and paying around $30 to assemble one six-pack.

Got an early Christmas present in the form of a Costco membership. REALLY looking forward to perusing the booze aisle.

Whatever. If it gets us one step closer to my dream of a Gruden/Ryan brothers reality show where they drive through the American southwest fighting crime and partying down with hot babes, I’m all for it.

Damn hell. Best wishes and much love to Drew.

Bizarre. The “scammer” who starred in one of the finest trash TV shows of all time, “Quantico”?! Come the fuck on, The Cut.

Absolutely. The fact that Division 1 FBS is the only college sport that doesn’t have a normal playoff makes no goddamn sense.

This sandwich definitely comes from a state where you’re not allowed to pump your own gas.