Holy Christ!

That’s a hard one.

In my experience, probably one out of every 20 families is like this, i.e., they love to scare the shit out of their kids. It gets passed down, too. I know grown-ass siblings whose lives depends on pranking and scaring each other, no matter the time of year. Weird, yeah, but at least it’s funny.

Really loving this cheeky feature. You can really get behind it. Crazy how some of these teams have been hitting bottom.

The man, Hue, wasn’t there.

The Patriots are absolutely going to pick him up. And he’ll tie for second-most receptions in 2019.

Are chili dog burritos still a thing somewhere? Those used to be my after-school jams but haven’t seen them in years.

Hmm ... might be time to get a Red Baron on the way home from work today and re-live those halcyon days of 1993.

Jeez, what a ball buster. Hope things didn’t get too nutty.

I would rather watch the same five Dodd’s Furniture commercials over and over again until the end of the year than deal with the non-stop bullshit political ads (even on during football -- is nothing sacred?!) telling me that Richard Cordray personally poisoned the milk of every child in the state. (I live in Ohio. I…

still better than candy corn

I wonder if there’s a perfectly serviceable African-American quarterback out there who isn’t playing for any team right now. Warren Moon, where are you?

“If a supermarket doesn’t have bologna, it’s probably too expensive for me.” -- my mom

Jesus holy hell. Just read these at my desk and now I’m too petrified to even get up to go pee.

You say “lick butt” like it’s a bad thing.

Love it that an 11-year-old has more sense than the actual (highly) paid adult coaches

Dude’s got more grit than Gritty 

Word. It took me a long time to realize that my grandma’s cliche was correct: the fat is the best part!

Chicken thighs: HIGHLY underrated. Get some Shake & Bake and it’s your childhood circa 1989 all over again!

After those shots of Jeppson’s, it’s a miracle y’all are still alive.