women like sports too

d’oh

Full list of items in my refrigerator right now

That’s the spirit!

Solid Kinja right here

I would just like to brag that I got lucky in high school during a home viewing of “Cabin Boy.” With a girl and everything!

True story! I turned 37 this year and am getting two small red and sometimes flaky splotches in my goatee area (I don’t have a goatee). The Internet is telling me many different things and I’m too lazy to see a dermatologist. What gives?

LET ME TELL YOU HOW TO LISTEN TO ROCK MUSIC

I mean, that’s the only place he could go that would actually make my head explode.

World Star Hip Hop?

The thing about it is, that’s totally a nad.

Sweet Enola Gay. Is there a Pro Football Player Protective Services that we can call?

Do writers on Gawker sites write their own headlines? Because that is some strong shit. Made me laugh loudly at my desk and now everybody knows that I’m not actually working.

10/10 — would star again

Doesn’t “lave-mains” mean “wash hands”? Did he shit in the sink?

Thank you for this. Like Yoda says: Mmm ah mm-mm-mm ah, mmm ha mm-mm-mm ah!

I swear to G-d that the Aldi’s version of Coca-Cola (called GT Cola) TASTES JUST LIKE REGULAR COKE!

Pretty much how my sister rations out her kids’ screen time — only a half-hour Monday-Thursday, but then on the weekend the gloves come off and it’s all-screens-a-poppin’. I am only human, after all.

A book a month is absolutely not laughable. I actually started with that resolution a couple years ago, and now I’m up to two or three a month. Not staring at screens in my free time (more than I already do) is fucking wonderful.

Yeah, my guiltiest pleasure when it’s, like, 85 degrees or more here in Ohio (which is about five weeks a year), are the six-pack of pints of Milwaukee’s Best Ice. It will indeed get you drunk.