Come on, you guys! Bobody's Nurfict!

Wait, I thought 7 ate 9?

This is fucking phenomenal. Also, those Cialis ads are terrible. WHAT KIND OF DEVIANTS GET HORNY WHILE PAINTING A BENCH?!

Keep it up, Boner Dog.

So, like, half of the NFC North is down with child abuse. Do we have anything on the Bears or Packers?

I gotta give Kyle/Kylie a +1 for the Demolition Man reference.

I've found that one generally can't go wrong with ANYTHING Southern Tier. Crazy good brewery.

I had Mr. Francois "The" Leauge for third-period French in high school. I certainly hope he didn't have anything to do with this.

Boo ... urns.

Thanks, dad. You cancelled our weekly lunch for this?

HEAR HEAR

You know, my friends and I found a bunch of soggy Playboys in the woods when we were, like, 10. Who leaves Playboys out in the woods? Are people still doing this kind of thing? Or has the silent and vital passing of printed pornography been killed by the Internet?

SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS. Also, SPORTS.

Way to make fun of a guy obviously having a heart attack.

Hoyer already scored the way-more-lucrative Mr. Hero TV commercial contract weeks ago.

Greg, I made a snarky comment on your Richard Sherman piece from January on Deadspin about Gawker Media being "Your Source of White Guilt" or some such nonsense. It got a ton of up-votes. After reading on the Internet about Mike Brown and specifically this article, I wish I could delete that post and slap my January…

"He wants to go out like Michael Jordan."

They really should make a Lifetime movie out of this debacle. David Paymer would be a shoo-in to play Joe Banner. I'm thinking J.T. Walsh (brought back from the grave) could be Lombardi, and, for the hell of it, James Brolin as Haslam.

The first one of you who makes a Russian reversal joke will officially get a wedgie, wet willie, AND the dreaded rear admiral in that order.

Dumb, but not as shocking as the fact that they're making another goddamn Transformers movie.