Oh shit I forgot Croker did Moltar’s voice too. Damn. 

Real Sex. The only show to feature Sacramento news anchor Stan Atkinson commenting on his son’s revelation that he thinks about “power” when he masturbates. 

The RE2 remake was the first thing I saw this in and it needs to be in every game. Moreover, every streaming website should have it. I am so tired of constantly wheeling the volume during movies or whenever theme music plays. Magnavox had this in their TVs in the damn 80's! 

Seriously. I’ve given up on most games being able to show me what’s happening so I will usually brighten it up a few notches. This is one of the reasons I want more console-ish ideas to make their way to PC. I have enough dark ass, muted color games for two lifetimes. I’m buying the shit out of XIII when it comes out.…

*drunkenly bursting through the door* BRING BACK MOLTAR!

This game was soooo good! Just a good ol’ hack and slash with a fun story. I’ll take this any day over another dogshit proc-gen thing.

I file long-form. Sure, tracking down a notary is a pain, but it's worth it. 

Do I want a combo microwave/convection oven/air fryer? Yes. Do I want it in any way connected to the internet? No. Just let me use fucking buttons, dials, and switches, you cowards! 

Love to see the Patriots’ schedule every year. Five games each against the Dolphins, Bills, and Jets plus an extra bye week for which they’re awarded a W for cutting a player who showed up late for practice after being julienned by a MassDOT snowblower.

It remains one of my top ten. I remember my parents rented it at the grocery store and I figured it was just another boring drama like Forever Young so I started playing this awful Terminator 2 game I had on our old Wang 386 (2 MB of RAM!). But I kept hearing cool stuff happening and that amazing James Horner/Branford…

Timothy Busfield! *watches Sneakers for the 50th time*

I thought that said “data analyst Warren Sapp” and I was stoked for a second. It’d be dope to see another interesting Wayman Tisdale-esque third act. Can’t think of a better one than Tisdale’s. 

Totally agree that McHale was underrated. Penn’s got the chops so I hope he can make it work. But I really think that if they crank the twee dial it’s gonna undermine their ability to tell a story about immigration. Doesn’t gotta be a Todd Solondz movie or anything. Just needs to not sound like it was written by an…

You’re probably right, but this sort of balance issue is what always ends up souring his shows for me so I’m wary. Parks and Rec was basically The Care Bears by the end of its run. And I gave up on both B99 and TGP for similar (thought not as pronounced) issues after three and two seasons respectively after enjoying…

This is a pretty good sign that Schur, even as EP, is too close to the writers room. This is a good setup for a sitcom, but if Schur meddles too much it’s going to turn into schmaltzy bullshit. He’s almost completely incapable of handling the balance between absurdity and sincerity. I miss the days when he was Mose…

Yeah, didn’t he cancel taco Tuesday? Talk about locker room cancer. 

I’d probably keep trying until the end if Schur didn’t keep turning his characters into twee dipshits after two seasons. 

I’ll admit a reasonably nice shirt looks nice tucked in, but we need to do away with tucking. It’s the dumbest shit spending half my goddamn day re-tucking my shirt over and over so it doesn’t turn into some half-deflated muffin top. Also, consider the shingle. Higher layers overlap lower layers to make a better…

...and the guy looked at me.