I can still recall being about 10 years old playing Faxanadu and repeatedly going in and out of one of the towns so I could get coins and XP from the weird puffy ghost dude at the entrance. Could never deal with grinding after that. 

There’s that line in MST3K the movie that goes “Increase the Flash Gordon noises and put more science stuff around!” Replace those with soft focus interviews and BUSINESS DESK items and you got yerself a Jeter Plan.

Dooooooug! I'm not on Twitter anymore so this is a treat. 

No Bumgarner trade. Let him dogpaddle in the toilet and make FORD TRUCK MAN commercials until he retires and a bunch of Clamper dads give him a dirt bike-shaped cake made of tactical fondant.

I can’t stop thinking about what Marchman’s take would be! Bath, but fill the tub with the showerhead? Hot shower after, but the bath has to be ice cold? Bathe in an upright shower with the door bolted shut and rinse off in the dishwasher? 

This is correct takeage and I’d like to ride its coattails and call for an end to post-credits stingers. Or, barring that, allow theater workers to pepper spray anyone trying to clog up the theater while they’re cleaning up all the spilled soda and popcorn.

It really does look like a game that would drive me nuts, but also be just goofy and interesting enough to keep me playing and futzing around trying to create overlapping system chaos. 

I was stoked to get a free copy with my new GPU, but when I finally fired it up that very first scene where the zombies are limping toward you among the flames I got bit right away and just immediately gave up. I’m sure it’ll be great when I’m in the mood to care about resource management and it’s darker outside.

Hey-o! Anyone got any suggestions for bright and colorful first or third person, single player, non-raid adventure games on PC? Feels like everything on Steam right now is either Gruff McGuffin & the Gray-Brown Death Hole or some combination of endless grind/multiplayer/raid shit. Having some serious PS4/Switch envy.…

Counterpoint: Shower after the bath. Many of us don’t have on-demand water heaters, so showering before wastes valuable hot water and having enough to fill a tub in the first place is hit and miss. Also, no soap film from the suds.

Averages 20 hours a day. Mmm hmm. I’d need one of those trucks they use to transport windmill blades to carry an eyeroll gif big enough for this. 

[whispers to date] That’s Chappie.

Way off, but I feel like you could still check the fluorocarbons on a JH by zipping around Provo and putting steak sandwiches on the Underhill’s tab.

I’m probably off here, but it feels close.

Cloud looks...uh...well there’s no way to make Cloud not look like a fill-in bassist for Cinderella so I reckon he looks fine. Aeris looks great though!

Seriously, wtf happened with Gordon Hayward? I didn’t realize Silva-ing your foot off would also turn a whole dude into an anus.

I can never say no to someone chucking a snowball at Gay Talese. Yeoman’s work.

I’m legitimately sad about this. Marchman hot takes are like the Hellraiser puzzle box, but instead of the Cenobites emerging to flay you it’s just a bunch of weird grandpas going “didn’t think about that, did ya!?” until you’ve forgotten your own opinion. And as a Sacramentan I’ll forever owe him and McKenna and…

Can I run the Giants' front office now?

Make it Todd Hundley and you've  got a deal!