Watch as I perform an apparently superhuman feat:

Thank you! This is the best take on this so far. It’s Sonic. Let it be a weird dumb movie you watch when you’re high.

Holy shit I didn’t realize Ken Patera wrestled. I only remember him from World’s Strongest Man competitions. And apparently he was only in one of those. My brain is turning into oatmeal. 

Dammit! Now I have to go to the always-too-hot-and-expensive state fair. I suppose I could just walk over to their office and ask if I could hop in the sim for a minute, but I reckon they don’t have wine and elotes at the office.   

Hell yeah. Went right over to the Light in the Attic store and ordered the Pacific Breeze LP. Gonna throw open the windows and get breezy. 

That student loan debt shit is ice cold, but you aren’t wrong about it being a fairly common dealbreaker. Been back on Tinder/Bumble for about six months now and it’s the worst I’ve seen since I first tried OKC in the early aughts. The number of people willing to openly demand that a partner “come from a good family”…

And the nerd community response to a perfectly reasonable request that they have a little perspective and not be such pissbabies is *checks comments* Pissbaby Olympics! 

I already have nerds telling me that Detective Pikachu is high art with a knowing wink and Sonic is some abomination. That’s like saying you’ll only eat Wendy’s because it’s healthier than McDonald's. Feed these people to the teeth.

I’m failing to see how this is any dumber than Detective Pikachu. Shit, half the reason Sonic is fun is because it’s the height of 90s extreme kidz nonsense. The absurdity and awfulness are the hook and as a bonus no one tries to convince me that it’s /actually really great/ like they do with Pokemon shit.

This sounds dope. I dig these little regional things. Though I do see a lot of comments here from people who could probably go jump up their own asses. Nothing like reading the comments on a pizza blog. It’s like picking up a rock and marveling at the disgusting creatures you find underneath. 

I can’t be the only person who was like “wait, isn’t John Cena already in these movies?” 

Please have an update for this if this Car Stories channel or the oaf himself responds! It’s probably a shortcoming of mine, but I’m invested in seeing the squirm now that the truth is out. 

Sorta beside the point, but I'm wondering when one of these is axes is going to drop for Ubisoft. The crunch required for massive annual releases of Assassin's Creed alone has to be substantial. 

I am loading a horse-sized copy of this blog into a cannon and firing it directly into Bumble/Tinder/FarmersOnly. Circle jerkin’ ass passport oafs.

Can’t wait to bike over to the rail yard and watch a game in an empty stadium as white women in maroon and gold scarves complain about homeless people. Goddammit. 

I am so stoked about this. I’ve felt like a crazy person for the last 16 years talking about how fun this game was. It had its problems (did Duchovny dictate this into an answering machine?), but it had a good array weapons, good pacing, good balance, solid controls, and for fuck sake it was bright and stylish instead…

I’m just going to bask in the aroma of this excellent burn for a moment.

I’m too lazy to find a GIF so just imagine an overwrought slow clap ovation scene for this gem. You have improved my day.

Nice! These little slice of life games are great. I’ve only played about an hour of Jalopy, but enjoyed the hell out of it. I hope they keep refining the concept. 

Just built my first two months ago and was super nervous. I took my time and triple checked everything as I went. Other than thinking I needed to initially plug the monitor into the mobo HDMI to set up the UEFI and having brief sinking feeling when I fired it up to a blank screen, everything went well and it runs like…