Thank you for giving me a reason go full Heyman and growl DENNIS MARTINEZ from my office. My coworkers rightly think I’m a loon. I don’t care what anybody says, the 90's Expos were fun and we need more Canadian baseball.

“The 3-2 pitch and Cone spelled backwards is Enoc.” 

Oh no this won’t do. Mother likes her toast burnt. Burnt toast for Mother.

I’m super excited to watch them buy three half-baked platform startups, develop two of their own in-house, determine which has a slight edge over the others, shutter it, combine the worst attributes of two deemed most mediocre into the chosen platform, for some reason not shutter the other two, roll out the chosen one…

A fun corollary would be to compile a list of foods it’s unacceptable to complain about on a flight. There’s always the one guy who wants to call in a Jason Bourne-level manhunt because a baked potato was eaten somewhere in the county and it gave him an elbow rash.

A nice fringe benefit here has been listening for Bumgarner’s annual home run derby bluster and hearing only the pleasant summer sound of crickets.

Right now, if you download Minecraft on Switch, you can play with any of your friends who are on PC.

If the left analog stick being in the upper left is the prime position because it's used more than the d-pad, then wouldn't the right analog stick be in the upper right since it's typically your POV control and used far more often than the buttons? 

*completely nude and red* Oh, hello. I was just folding these terry cloth towels. Baseball game? Yes, love those things.

A back yard is a great place for this old bird. Cut out a cargo door that can double as an awning, throw a wet bar in, and have a long laugh at the asshats still endlessly pissing money into “airworthy” Sabreliners.

For real. It requires so much time, patience, and money that I can’t really understand how even the most invested of fans can deal with it. My brothers and I used to take our dad to see the Rams lose in Candlestick every couple of years. We finally stopped in 2009 after we all looked at each other in the third quarter…

I know this game will likely end up being a masterpiece, but goddamn does this look like the hokiest 90's ass version of cyberpunk. It looks like Batman Forever-era Joel Shumacher directing Johnny Mnemonic while in the throes of a Surge binge. Yo, check out my sick ride that somehow looks simultaneously like a Camaro…

About three years ago I looked at my $600 Best Buy Gateway rig and thought, what if I jammed this bastard full of new stuff? I run everything through my TV so I can play from my couch using a DS4 (mouse and keyboard may be more precise, but goddamn is it an uncomfortable way to play). It’s the best of both worlds and…

A new Jak would be so good. Ratchet and Clank sorta scratches that itch, but it never seems to capture the grandeur for me. Is there anything that’s come out in the last five years that makes for good Jak methadone?

Personally...

Parks and Rec should be denied a reboot for somehow having a worse final season than The Office. That shit gave me diabetes.

I’ve been super over baseball since about 1993, but goddamn this is wonderful. Watching someone excel so hard it becomes art never gets old.