I hadn’t considered this! One of my dogs is currently being trained as my service animal. His primary tasks include identifying when I’m close to a meltdown and getting me out of the situation (he whines like he needs to go outside to relieve himself so I have an excuse to leave) and calm me when I do have one.

Nothing should say “it’s over” like Paris Hilton photographing her way through your event

Hell yeah!

Hey, I also cooked up a huge pot of al fredo (angel hair instead of fettucine) during my first one-on-one date with the future Mrs. Shaydu! Also no sexy, but definitely the right move.

You are not zabalone

olive you

So when you die, you want to be found in an episode of Law & Order: Alabama?

I thought for sure it would be puttanesca

Yes, please.

i don’t drink it i just keep it around to throw in bobby’s face

The ranch dressing on the side somehow helps with the concept of this picture.

TOWEL OF DOOM

It’s a Chinese thing like acupuncture. A hot glass cup (possibly containing something that’s burning?) is placed on the skin. As it cools (and/or the burning stops due to all the oxygen being depleted) the air in the cup takes up less volume, creating a vacuum, which sucks on the person’s flesh.

I think maybe they can handle crossing a road.

Thank you! There’s at least one other person as horrible as me. First thought when I saw “Ooh Aah”.

All the newspapers have to say is “Look I read this...” or “I heard this......” and they will be off the hook because it is deflecting the blame to someone else, you know, like he does. Hey they are just repeating things, so if it is good enough for him, then it should be good enough for the news organizations.

She definitely didn’t get what she deserved. I will say I’m utterly unsurprised that one of the biggest bastions of conservative thinking also happens to be one of the biggest bastions of unrefined sexism, misogyny and male entitlement to women’s bodies, and that this was about as predictable a story as finding out…

Hey man, painting all of my tools bright pink helps them not get stolen. Did you know that dudes are allergic to pink and if they touch it they get pregnant and die?