Sorry about that - it wasn't the older part that shook me, it was the sudden over-familiarity with a widely-recognized authority figure. Like if I were watching TV with the Dali Lama and reached for the remote and instead brushed up against his nuts. I'm gonna throw my shovel over the top of my hole and quit while I'm…

Sometimes going in for a hug has unintended consequences. Went in for a hug with my mother-in-law one Christmas eve and unintentionally brushed my hand across one of her breasts due to an unfortunate mis-choreographed docking maneuver. My left hand still cringes involuntarily at the memory. Moral of the story: “don’t…

Me too! I’m going by the Hollywood caricature of sorority life, as told by “Legally Blonde”. The snaps jar was a jar in which you wrote down complimentary things about someone in your sorority (i.e. a "snap"and then everyone would gather and read them. Instead of clapping, everyone snapped their fingers instead.

Where does Trump find these people? In my imagination:
Random campaign worker: Dammit, the campaign manager is in the news again! We have to find a replacement.
Trump: I passed some crazy homeless guy on my way in. He was singing show tunes into an unplugged microphone he found somewhere. He had real charisma and some…

Holy crap I’d watch the shit out of that! Why does every post-apocolcyptic landscape have to be inhabited by steampunks and bikers on steroids? I bet if you plopped down a sorority house down in the middle of a Mad Max world, those stone-cold bitches would be measuring the Thunderdome for drapes and nobody would know…

Oooh, I like that! Maybe that wasn't a sincere birthday wish but instead was a passive-aggressive dig at his flabby dickhead manager who couldn't manage to keep the paps from snapping pics of his half-chubby in the tighty-whities. If so, my heart just swelled three sizes!

Although...if one wanted to make sure as many people as possible knew about your homey’s birthday, posting an announcement below a picture of your incredibly chiseled ass in tighty whiteys is a pretty strong way to get that done. Although I, like many others, have a lot of questions as to context. Photo shoot? Recent…

Again, perfectly logical explanation - THE WOMAN WAS A MIME!

RE: Mom holding folded child aimed at bike lane.
There may be a perfectly logical explanation for this. Perhaps the woman was a sculptor's assistant posing the model for the sculptor. Had you only looked in the opposite direction, you may have seen someone chiseling away at a large piece of marble. OR maybe the woman…

I thought it was a portrait that was reasonable and pleasant to hang around with?

Sorry - missed this. Had to be said, but you said it first.

Just so long as he didn't go full retard

How about "CUNT", or "CUUUUUNT"?

You say "F-list" like that's a bad thing...

Yep. But I guess my body would need to be discovered by a passing jogger or something.

Well played!

Ah well, there's always FAPellini!

That's what I thought. My girls and I were big fans. The artwork of the villages and the Italian countryside were pretty awesome!

Lighten up, Francis!

Hell’s yeah. Not my finest culinary moment, but enough to demonstrate potential talent. The best part was when future Mrs. etc. saw the full pound of fettucine that I had prepared, said “Oh, I couldn’t possibly eat all that!” then daintily destroyed the entire batch. I was pretty much a goner after that meal.