I have no pita for this guy at all. He is toast!

Try preheating the nails first to soften 'em up

That's the low-fat/diet version for the health nuts

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Thanks! I'll make a hard-copy of this waiver and keep it on file. It'll be nice to not have to apologize for my dad humor for once!

Shotgun killer! When you are too high in college, you get up and pull back the curtain and THERE HE IS!

THOSE SPIDERS!!? I RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE M'LADY

And in related news, the National Park renamed a Grand Canyon feature into Ooh AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Point. I am so sorry.

So when is Donald going to tweet a picture of himself eating some racist lunch item representing the African American community a la Cinco de Mayo? What would the Trump Tower cafeteria serve him? I'm doing with spit-basted fried chicken.

Maybe that constant whiff of rancid raw hamburger in the stock room might provide a clue?

Of course not! He waited until he woke up just to make sure Cavuto knew that Ailes is the boss.

"expired dog food from the damaged can rack" - has this been used as a Trump descriptor yet?

Note found in field: Hey Gabby, could you put this in the compost bin? kthx, Vinnie

The way I figure it - if it was non-BLM affiliated shooters, it might have been an execution for the crime of not shooting the BLM protestors down.

Point taken - not my finest moment. Leave the poor man's cavities unsullied. But geez, if someone less in the limelight had spouted off like that, this guy would be in a world of fiery dragon poo right now, along with the people who joke about bombs in the airport TSA lines. There's a free spirit who chafes against…

Might I suggest vigorous and repeated cavity searches, you know, just to make sure he's not a threat?

I agree with that to some degree, but it comes dangerously close to saying that continuing patriarchy is the fault of the women. For sure, these pretty talking heads on CNN and Fox make bank by being white and conventionally attractive, but for every pretty talking head making big bucks, there’s a doughy white guy…

Especially the dying part?

If nothing else, it should serve as an object lesson to white, middle class women that socioeconomic status doesn’t exempt you from unseemly sexual harassment. The discriminating factors are possession of a functional vagina and proximity, and the rest is details.

I know - that's some Handmaiden's Tale-looking patriarch right there!