Yellow gold is awesome! Seriously? That white shit belongs in the mall.

By the way, my neighbor's sister is also willing to blow goats on video.

Though they would never say anything about it publicly, the child of Benjamin Button and Roger Ebert scared the shit out of the neighbors.

People die from cars - a lot. Speeders should go to jail well before we send weed users/dealers. Of course, our legal system isn't based on science or even logic.

Do you consider every senior to be elderly? I don't think I do and I'm curious if I'm in the minority. For me, I guess 60-70 would be "senior" and 70+ would be "elderly." Maybe even 75.

Country went from being very good in the early to mid-90's where Garth and Alan Jackson and Faith Hill and Martina McBride ruled the airwaves to something that has just become Hair metal for Hicks. I am from the country and I can't stand the simple minded schtick about parties and dirt roads and babes and trucks. …

Pattaramon Chanbua of Thailand agreed to be a surrogate for the unnamed Australian couple in question. According to Sydney Morning Herald, Pattaramon discovered she was having twins three months after being injected with the Australian woman's fertilized eggs and was promised an additional sum of money. The…

I kinda feel the same way too. Although, when I watched him in "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee" the other day, I warmed up to him a little. But just a little.

I understand why you say this (I recall an afternoon when there were about 4 Jez articles with titles that started with "Don't" or "Stop"), but I think this is the wrong article to choose to point it out. "Stop othering me" is very different from "stop trying to make scrunchies happen."

Three whole months without masturbating?!?!? Jeez, I'll be lucky if I make it through writing this com

I don't really think this is tackling late term abortion, though. This is to save the mother's life. This is a wanted child. It's different than someone electing to have an abortion because... well, for whatever her reasons may be. There is likely to be very little debate that she should terminate the pregnancy in…

He might have had nude selfies somewhere else, and someone had them, then hacked the email to get student/ parent email addresses.

Different circles I guess. Where I am (outside the Beltway that is), its usually bragging along the lines of "You think you got it bad... it takes me an hour and a half to go 15 miles to work and back!"

You're usually better than that. This is disappointing.

How the hell do you know what time it is?

Commonly asked questions, and answers from those of us with bifid uvulas:

Yeah, I'm not even the type to immediately assume something as fake, but there is no way in hell 27 tables wanted a group photo.

I would say, based on my (granted, fairly limited) experience in a semi-high-end hotel restaurant with really cool decor, that the constant instagramming and picture taking definitely adds some time to the meal.