How about I just take Brett Stephen’s mom out for a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again? 

Aprops of nothing, here’s a random dose of Aussie humor.

Oh wow now I’m a Republican. Your dumb chart worked. 

You are certainly confused, that we can all agree upon. 

Yeah Capitalism is pretty fucking sweet if you don’t give a shit about the workers. 

Who gave Charlie Kirk an account here? 

Yes yes we’re all very impressed by the fact that you are not wowed by this video of a toilet flushing. 

You can still catch a field goal and return it in the NFL, but if it hits the ground it’s a dead ball. In the CFL every field goal that stays in play is still a live ball.

In Canadian football, you get one point (known as a “rogue” or a “single”) for kicking it through the endzone/forcing a touchback. Also, missed field goals are a live ball as long they don’t go out of bounds. Also, you’re allowed to punt the ball anytime you want (it has to travel 10 yards for your team to be able to…

Canadian football rules are more interesting. Fight me.

“If what has happened is a memory and whats going to happen is a thought, you’re taking yourself out of right now. So in that case, every hour is happy hour”- me to a completely empty bar and a visibly uncomfortable bartender at 8am on a Tuesday

You’re doing a great job of ignoring it.

We found Matt Groening’s burner account. 

It’s a set prop from Parks and Rec. A spoof on some of the weirder New Deal era murals, which were beautifully painted but contained a lot of themes that are a bit out there by todays standards.

On one hand, these suck. On another hand, I feel like every new logo automatically feels like a create-a-team logo on Madden just because we’re not used to it, and with these team names, they were bound to suck.

1) Biden is showing serious signs of decline. Bernie is still playing active and alert, and despite the fact that much of the media would love for him to start foaming at the mouth during a stump speech, they haven’t come up with a single convincing movement where he seemed to be losing his marbles. I’m sure you’re an…

Yep, you’re still talking about the wrong Portland. 

This may seem like sad news but remember, now we’re one step closer to winning the War on Drugs! #AnyYearNow

Yeah. There’s you, Hitler, Reagan... that’s three right there. 

I thought Palestine didn’t exist to you dipshits?