Quick! Scientists! Build us a machine to send us all to the universe where Michelle is no.45! I WANT TO BE THERE INSTEAD.

I can’t decide what I care about less:

“she was wearing a kind of bustier costume that was very form-fitting.”

This guy has been a dick for his entire life. And it’s funny how he praises his Sarah Connor character and Linda Hamilton’s incarnation, but then look how he ACTUALLY treated Linda, the person.

He can jump right into a lake of burning petrol.

Cult of eternal victimhood, just like the evangelical christians.

I will never cease to be amazed by the way conservative figures, in politics, entertainment or otherwise, can play the “I’m just too dangerous and edgy for people to accept” when republicans hold both houses of Congress and there’s a nominally republican president in the White House.

Shelwood has a great answer, but I also wanted to add that when kids are involved there are concerns about vastly different income/households. The idea is that it will give one parent more sway over the kids and could create unfair advantage to the wealthier parent

I think the assumption is that the non-working spouse gave up a paying job at some point in order to enable the much richer spouse’s career. And, tbf, with high-paying jobs in entertainment and business and such, there is an assumption by management that the employee will have a non-working spouse and that at-home…

... Which is SO hilarious. What makes him think enough people like him that they’ll actually stop watching the sportsball? This is Amurrica; it aaaaain’t gonna happen.

Well, he does donate his salary, so it he getting paid or not? I would say that he is but some would say that he isn’t. But if he is writing that check to whom ever gets the money, then he is getting paid.

Alas, the President can make the claim that as the head of the Executive Branch he’s not actually an employee of said branch. This same take is how his lawyers are arguing his right to hire Jared (employees can’t hire family members but Trump as the head of the EB isn’t an employee and thus isn’t subject to that…

Just as it was illegal for Sarah Sanders to call for that ESPN chick’s firing, it’s illegal for Trump to call for the firing of a buncha sportsball guys. Shut this cocksucker up.

She’s the Hello Kitty of first ladies. Okay to look at, and has no mouth.

I was bingeing Scandal last night and Mellie said something spot on. Paraphrasing: Men are forgiven an infinite number of transgressions. Women aren’t forgiven even one. Though I’m in the unfavorable opinion group when it comes to Melania, you’re exactly right.

The entire Steelers team today is hanging in the locker room during today’s national anthem. This is big.

Melania’s popularity is 100% based on being attractive and very quiet. For trump supporters she’s the perfect woman, none of this uppity talking back and having opinions feminazi shit. Guaranteed if she somehow came out saying something the trumpers found offensive or controversial, they’d be calling her an ugly old…

When you are purposely trying to get pregnant, seeing other folks get pregnant without trying fucks with your head. Because purposely getting pregnant can take some work. You take fertility tests everyday to see when the optimal time to fuck is, you have to purposely reduce your anxiety levels and that just reminds…

How many fucking last chances are we gonna have to sit through with the GOP Healthcare bullshit. They say it’s dead after much dramatic fanfare and last minute voting, we breathe a sigh of relief and then a few months later they come back with something even worse. This thing has more lives than Jason, Freddie Kruger…

• Sean Spicer says he never “knowingly” lied to the American people. Okay.

Okay, folks, today’s Code 45* was a super tough one to crack. So we’re going to lead off with the message itself, then walk y’all through it. It’s quite a tasty prophecy, but - as you will see - there will be some delayed gratification, so we’ll all need to be strong for a bit. Here it is: