Long, long history of that in Hollywood. Huge numbers of actors had to change their names to get famous, both for racist reason (their name was very “ethnic” and Hollywood hates that) or because their name was hard to pronounce. For example, for Jews, you’ve got Marilyn Monroe = Norma Jean Mortensen, Kirk Douglas =…

Also missed my favorite line:

Case in point: I’ve had people ask me what my real name was

I don’t know why people would trust him after he tried to ruin Christmas.

When I was little, my mom bought me a comic book that showed me how deal with these weirdos.

Sandy for President!

Sandra Bullock: “I’m just grateful I can do it. We have to take care of one another.”

It’s what happens when you have a person who views everything as transactional.

“Later, spotting a crowd of people, he said “What a crowd!” and “What a turnout!”

I freaking love that no matter what bullshit assertion you make about Trump and his family, he is such a fame whore that there is inevitably photographic evidence somewhere to prove/disprove your point. See In Re: Shortened Achilles Tendon vs. First Lady Wearing Sensible Flats to View Flood Disaster Like an Actual…

So how long will it be until it’s only he and the kids, all wandering around an otherwise empty White House in their bathrobes, still trying to figure out how to turn the lights on?

The rest of the elite disaster-response team walks resolutely across the tarmac:

MICHELLE WOULD HAVE WORN SNEAKERS. Or a flat or duck boots or anything else a normal person would wear. GOD I hope 45 has a heart attack on top of her in bed and she’s trapped for several hours.

I am still laughing my fool head off at that Top Gun cosplay. Gurrrrl, Kelly McGillis you ain’t.

She looks like she was about to go to a Top Gun themed party before Cheeto dragged her on this stupid vanity trip.

When I read that it actually sounded like he was commentating a sports game and he was congratulating the people of Houston like they were fans. “HISTORIC storms, people! Houston has the best storms. THANK YOU HOUSTON!” *RAAAAAAAA RAAAAAAAAAA AND THE CROWD GOES WIIIIIIIIIIILD!!!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAA*

Hes old. He has no idea that no one under the age of 40 watches the news on tv.

It’s Trump, so clearly he did it because the hurricane would give him higher ratings. All those people trapped in their homes; all they can do is watch TV. Unless they have no power, in which case fuck those lazy non-electricians.

Putting aside for a second the absolute ridiculousness of the President of the United States giving a shit about ratings for a press conference, was he saying that he did it that night because he thought the ratings would be higher due to the hurricane, or he did it that night in order to raise ratings so more people…