You’re missing two rails of either Adderall, Xanax, or cocaine depending on who their parents are and what fraternity they rushed.

Connor Bruce Croll: Alright listen Brayden, here’s what we’re gonna do. You’re gonna put a big bet on Florida. Then we’ll drink 12 Busch Lites each and split a can of dip. Then I’ll call in a bomb threat from my unencrypted, traceable iPhone. It’s the perfect crime...  

Croll Tried!

Let me guess, he called in the bomb threat from his cell phone...

It somewhat sucks as Mariota is supposedly one of the coolest dudes in the NFL and the kind of a guy you just wish success for. Maybe that was the problem and he wasn’t crazy enough to be a great QB.

Not really (per NFL rulebook, for whatever it’s worth):

“To be a foul, we basically need some forceful contact that’s prolonged to the head and neck area of the (opponent),” (Referee) Blakeman said. “So in (Rice’s) mind, he had pinned him back, it was prolonged, and that’s what created the foul.”

Yet, here you are reading articles about it and posting as well!

It’s an escape from reality on Sunday and Monday for several million people. Whether it’s good or not, I have no specific opinion. But that’s the answer. Some people read; some people do the crossword; some people dress up like ancient knights and fight with plastic swords while hopped up on Sudafed and ambien. It’s…

Why do people watch this sport again?

It’s like I’ve always said: if you eat a stranger’s ass in the parking lot before the game, your mouth will probably taste like ass afterwards.

My tin-hat theory is that the NFL will not allow the Lions to win until they give back the Thanksgiving game so that the NFL can have it in a bigger market. 

I mean, LA clearly cares about NFL football. Just not necessarily about Chargers football (or the Rams necessarily either, judging from all the red at yesterdays game). But the owners don’t care who the people sitting in the stands cheer for. They paid for tickets, parking, probably a lot of beer and stuff, and their…

Looks like Peterson finally learned not to go for the switch.

This is likely the biggest mistake I’ve ever made on Kinja, but god help me, here I go.

I like Richard Sherman - I don’t think he’s asking too much to have a respectful handshake before the game. Why not?

The Jaw: God’s Hard Reboot for the human anatomy. 

The recipient of that hit is Vontaz Burfict, the guy then NFL just suspended for the rest of the season for dirty hits. So while an eye for an eye just leaves everybody blind, there’s certainly some satisfaction to be derived from watching Burfict be on the receiving end of one of those hits.

The cart had to be carted off the field.

I’m not sure what was going on with Smith-Shuster there but it looked very traumatic and sad.