I don’t get paid extra the days I come in early but coming in early on certain days is factored into my salary.  

Wrong story, man, the Jeremy Renner porno one posted earlier.

Paired with a plaid shirt and white framed sunglasses.

+1 tub of vasoline

Even EVEN worse is when you walk into any brewery here in Iowa and there’s 18 outdoor bros who’s idea of outdoors is camping in a tent in a cornfield wearing this hat

I did not learn to properly use a Kleenex until I was thirteen.

Re: Patagonia.

God I hope the Saints get fucked by one of these this season.  

Pretty much. At work I’ve noticed the ‘boymom’ shirts means ‘I’m just going to let my kid do whatever he wants because well, he’s a boy! Shrug! What you gonna do?!’

YES. And I guarantee that every #boymom who says “well, my son has lots of energy/likes playing with toy trucks/makes fart jokes” because he’s a boy also uses that justification to excuse behavior that ranges from totally normal for a child that age (meltdowns and tantrums happen), to totally abnormal but justifiable,…

Exactly. #Boymom is the precursor to “Boys will be boys.”

I’m a mom of a six month old boy, but I’m not a #boymom. Not only do I not have time to read mommy blogs or get into mom culture, but it seems very limiting for mothers to build their outward identity around motherhood. I mean, yeah, I spend like 80% of my time when not working or sleeping with my baby, but at least I…

I always assumed I’d be a girl mom, I don’t really know why but it’s just what I always saw in my head. I am now the proud parent of two little boys, 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 and my only goal here is to raise kind, helpful citizens. It’s been hard for me to wrap my head around what my future might look like (sports and dirt…

My Mom had all girls and “boy moms” used to annoy her so much. They all seemed to assume that being loud, messy, and roughhousing was something only boys did. She would frequently point out that my sisters and I did all of those things (especially the story where my middle sister and I were fighting and fell onto the…

Is it possible he just wants out of training camp?

What is there to question? I shoot my load in to the bowl, wipe, flush, and go about my day. I usually watch porn at my desk and run across the hall to finish. Could probably just keep a wad of tp at my desk and flush that. Might try that later tonight.

WTF?? Even when I was a disgusting, pimpled teenager piddling my pud, there are paper towels, tissues, wads of toilet paper. Who the fuck uses a sock???

I am completely baffled at the concept of wanking into a sock. My aim is to pleasure myself in the most complete way possible. That does not include containment. Let it go. It’s not toxic.

When not usually standing, do you like to mix it up with different positions if you’re feeling saucy? Like on your knees or squatting on the top of the tank? 

I always figured jacking off into a sock was just a trope used for comedic affect in shitty teen movies, I didn’t think people actually did that--especially grown-ass adults. My mind is blown.