“Guess he’s not a gunslinger.” - Gruden

If he finds his swing in AA and AAA, who knows, maybe they’ll make Tebow Harvey’s designated best friend and roommate!

Tebow: [Barging into Harvey’s room, jogging in place] Hey Matthew! It’s 4:30, time to hit the gym!
Harvey: [Groggliy] 4:30? Shit, I overslept. Where are we going for dinner?
Tebow: [doing jumping jacks]…

He was there with his inner circle: family, friends, agents—all the people who ran his professional life...

No, it probably went down like this:

So this guy went by himself into an alley to fight two NFL players? Am I drunk and reading this wrong?

Aaron Hernandez, an innocent man, died in prison. Yet, Tom Brady (clearly guilty of evidence tampering) walks free. That’s America for you.

Does the suicide trick work for library fines, too?

If there’s a god, this means that the Mets’ Brief Ryan Howard Experiment is just starting...

She was always know for her “cardio”, her drug of choice being used for that exact purpose, which she took for 10 years when you’re only supposed to take for a couple of weeks at a time.

She knew it was doping. Just hadn’t been discovered by the authorities yet. She was taking medication usually prescribed for a heart condition for a limited time, for ten years! Someone asked her a couple of weeks ago what she was taking for her faulty heart now that she can no longer take the banned stuff? Her…

Jeter saying “We need to make sure the game stays pure,” while A-Rod is forced to smile uncomfortably is the sweetest revenge.

As a fake internet attorney, let me preemptively address the knotty legal arguments from those who would ask “What about his right to free speech?”: Shut the fuck up you fucking idiot

They should throw stinging jellyfish into the crowd and let everyone piss on each other.

You’re right.

Tebow’s BA ranks 9th on the team.

We don’t hate Tebow. I mostly like Tebow. We hate exactly what this: writers and sports media pundits writing about him like he’s a hall of famer and shoving TEBOWTEBOWTEBOW down our throats despite the fact that he hasn’t accomplished anything notable in pro sports for like 5-6 years.

This presupposes that other guys in the minors either don’t work as hard or should also have long profiles on websites.

He was a good college football player.

A lot of people say the crucifix was in, but I think he nailed it. And yet the double-A Binghamton Mets fans are screaming GIVE US BARABBAS (Antonio Barabbas, young Dominican shortstop prospect).