SECRETS!!! Oh, Brandy, you in danger, girl!

Also, as far as I am aware she isn't undereducated. The girl took Cold War college classes for FUNSIES. I am of the belief that Kesha is a very successful life-troll and we should all bow down to her because she is far above any starlet.

I HATE IT when my thong doesn't have pockets! Where am I supposed to stash my cellphone?

Personally I applaud the House GOP for all the hard work they've done this week to ensure that Hilary Clinton will be our next president.

This one is so specific I can't hate on it. She wanted to get engaged and married in one fell swoop (arguably smarter than many months of engagement) and they had been together for five years. Sounds like a great guy who is in tune with his lucky lady :)

This is all obviously bonkers, but the toothbrush and the razor is the bonkers-est. You would spend exactly the same money if you had one each! They would last twice as long!

I will personally buy this couple a lifetime supply of dental floss if someone can arrange to have the idea of 'shared dental floss' permanently erased from my memory.

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE…

Well, we've got to get the heebs from someplace now Hoarders is cancelled.

Absinthe taught english in eastern europe and got away with all sorts of shit in the early 1990's.

Fuck frowny - Try angry!

Wait, I thought it was women who lie about rape...

"You need to give your husband a blow job every day. He should feel like a king."

MoGlo you know bitches don't be caring about the government shutdown until their SNAP Obamanailcare benefits don't come through at the salon. Amirite ladies?

Thank you Callie, all Jezzies will be invited to my Courtney Love costume party for my next birthday. We'll start at Forever 21 to dress, dinner at Auntie Anne's, then drinking in whatever chain restaurant is classiest in that mall.

DERELICTE!

Okay, the Lanvin stuff is adorable.

Because now that Ice T is on SVU, you can't blame the raps anymore?

If arson in bed is wrong, I don't want to be right.

And has anyone actually met a Ukrainian woman? I have Ukrainian women friends and no one would ever call them submissive.